Okay, so depending on the size of the lesbian community in your area, it’s possible that you already know all of your girlfriend’s closest friends.
If not, however, there will come a time when you need to make the introduction, and depending on the dynamic of her group, it could be one of the most welcoming experiences of your life … or one that forces you to hide under a table to avoid the gunfire.
The thing is, just like her family, her real friends aren’t going anywhere.
So no matter how sweet, loving, or scary they are, you’ll need to accept them for who they are if you want to make your relationship work. Some tips for dealing with the crazy:
Feel Them Out
You don’t have to be Ms. Funnypants the first time you meet them. Hang back and observe them and the relationship they have with your girlfriend.
How will you fit into the group? Which of your characteristics fit, and which might not fit so perfectly?
If you have concerns, talk to your girlfriend about your place. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. But if your girlfriend likes you, most likely her friends will like you as well.
They might be protective, but know it’s just because they care about her just like you do. If they give you a hard time, it’s probably just because they want to make sure you’re good enough for her and that you’re going to treat her well. Don’t take it personally.
Don’t Make Her Choose
No one likes to hear, “It’s them or me.”
It’s not fair, it’s not cool, and it invariably ends with lots of resentment, even if she does choose you over her mates.
If you have real, well-founded concerns (“She’s a bitch,” doesn’t count), always feel free to express that. But know that she’s an adult (just like you) and she has the right to choose her friends just like you do.
Be Aware (But Not Paranoid)
Look: we’re girls for God’s sake. And girls are catty. So when you get a bunch of us together, it’s no doubt that at some point someone will say something about you that isn’t cool, isn’t fair, or isn’t true.
Heck, one of her friends might be desperately in love with her and is just waiting for a chance for you to mess up so she has a chance to pounce.
Try not to focus on it, but do take a mental note of the potential threats.
Stand Up For You
I’m all about empowerment, ladies. Though I believe in being respectful of my girlfriend’s friends and life, it doesn’t mean I believe in getting stepped on!
If at any point the relationship doesn’t feel “right” to you, speak up or move on.
Hopefully you’re a genuinely nice person with good intentions. Even more importantly, hopefully so are her friends.
Most likely you will all get along just fine but once in a while you may run into a group of friends who just have way too many inside jokes.
If you happen to have a girlfriend with a group of friends who are extremely “clicky” and have a hard time letting other people in, don’t try to pry and force your way in. It’s okay to have separate friends from your girlfriend and simply maintain a friendly relationship with her friends.
Hope this helps with anyone who’s having trouble in that department.
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What is your best advice to getting along with your girlfriend’s friends? Let me know and share your experience in the comments below!