The Secret To Being Irresistible To Other Lesbians

I know: irresistibility is difficult to quantify.

After all, a girl can be irresistible. But so can a donut. Or a sweater. Or a new pair of shoes in my case. What makes those things irresistible? The whole package.

In fact, whether you’re a Stud, Femme, Andro or none of the above, there are some traits that are always attractive. And whether your package is a beautifully wrapped gift box… or a soggy brown shopping bag is up to you.

Being Irresistible To Other Lesbians

Things like your appearance, voice inflection, stance, eye contact, voice volume, speech speed, breathing and smile all have an impact on how much self-confidence, charm, smarts, and maturity you project when approaching someone.

Does that mean you need to be the savviest, coolest, most beautiful woman in the room to impress someone? No freakin’ way! It just means you need to know how to use those qualities to your advantage when approaching the girl of your dreams. After all, you only get one chance to make a first impression. No pressure ;)

As we all know, a first impression is something you can never take back. If you started off giving an angry, sullen look, you can’t magically make her remember you as a smiling, awaiting face. Your attitude is you!

irresistible lesbian

For instance, think about the last time someone approached you. What turned you on about the way they did it?

  • Did they stand close enough so that you could feel their breath on your shoulder?
  • Did they say something funny that made you blush?
  • Did they speak clearly enough that you didn’t have to say, “Huh?” and create an awkward moment for both of you?

I’m not saying you need to imitate someone else’s style. I’m just saying you need to appreciate your own personal characteristics and amp them up a bit. You want to stand out in a good way. Everyone does. Whether it be your crooked smile, your perfect posture, or the fact that you have a hair color quite unlike any other, you want a girl to want you for who you are, not for who they think you might be.

Outside of looks, know yourself. What makes you beautiful inside will make you extremely appealing to your target. Your personality is your best weapon. If you really aren’t sure which aspects of your personality are the most beautiful, ask a friend or two for their insights. Chances are, they appreciate a lot of things about you that you don’t even realize are there.

Just always remember that if you can’t resist yourself then neither will they ;)

Now over to you… What is something you do to make sure you’re irresistible to other lesbians? Or what is one quality you notice in other women that make you irresistibly attracted to them? Let me know in the comments below!

If you would like extra guidance... I HIGHLY recommend that you grab yourself a copy of The Lesbian Lifestyle Book. It is the only guide you will ever need as a lesbian or bisexual woman.

Click Here To Get The Lesbian Lifestyle Book.

Rock On,

Get exclusive lesbian tips and advice straight to your inbox, FREE!


  1. susan@maria says

    So, i am burried so deep into my closet, i dont even know if there is a key for me. but i found a key and she is so playing hard to get. i am like a bloody twelve year old in love. cant resist to walk past her office to see if she is there. she did show interest but i also found out she is very private person. when ever we get a chance te talk alone she is open and funny. she stares into my eyes, looking for answers. but she never ask directly, or even hint. as soon as other people enter the room she change into a totally different person, giving me the cold shoulder so to speak. only joking or tearing away from me. she is going to drive me crazy, i have dreams about this woman. doing unspeakable things and it looks like it is going nowhere. what should i do???????????? anybody please.

  2. Kat says

    Its hard to word exactly but…the kind of girls that I find to be the most attractive are the free-spirit types. The artists, the hippies, or the girls who may or may not being considered “indie” because of their adorable quirks.

    I feel kind of strange admitting this since it sounds pretty specific though, guess there’s just something nice about being with someone who’s not afraid to be themselves. Fake people are such a turn off. :(

  3. Mel says

    Hi there,

    I’m kinda stuck in an awkward position. I’m in the closet, stuck in the closet and am close to being figured out. I am in band class with two very close friends. One is an out and proud lesbian and the other is my best friend and I am crushing hard on. In class I have missed my cues because I was watching the one I like play her saxaphone. The other friend has noticed my staring and has risen her eyebrows about it but hasn’t said any thing. As I said, I’m in the closet so my sax player doesn’t know and is sending really mixed signals. For example, on an overnight trip with our school she made up excuses to hold my hand. But a few days later when we were waiting for her mom she was flipping through a male body builder magazine and pointing out all of the nice abs. I don’t know what to do, I can’t figure her out.

  4. jess says

    I am attracted to this girl @ work and I am not sure how she feels and whether she is straight or not. We were getting really tight but then she pulled away. I don’t look butch- but andro- she doesn’t really know that I am a lesbian. I don’t share my personal life @ work. She is gothic and didn’t tell me that. She doesn’t really dress goth- again because of the corporate enviroment. We work in different buildings, but she ensure that she come to my floor @ least once a day just to look @ me- we don’t really talk in front of people. We talk on that phone “work related” or when we are alone. I am not sure what to do cos I really like her a lot. When we are alone we can virtually stare into each others eyes. She thinks I am funny and likes my sense of humor- I think she is amazing. I kinda asked her out 4 drinks indirectly, bt she said that won’t help her stressful work sitituation- so I took it as a no. Sometimes we totally avoid each other. She has never mentioned that she is goth, or in a relationship. Nor has she asked me if I am with anyone. I have no idea why she pulled away @ the begining of the year, she started talking again but not like before. I don’t know why we ignore each other, or avoid each. But there isn’t a day that goes by @ work that we don’t see each even if it is 4 a brief second. I am afraid to tell her about the way I feel cos of the fact she pulled away once without me saying anything, also that fact that we work together. I love everything about her, from her eyes to her voice to her personality, she is also gorgeous. Please advise!

  5. Sarah says

    im a lesbo, lol, and i swear to god this worked. thanks.c:
    ahem.. not that i had a problem with the ladies anyway.;)

  6. Jade says


    Need an advice. I am a straight girl and there is a lesbian in my office who i think is attracted to me. Coz i have never had lesbian friends it is hard to understand if she really likes me. There are few things which i have observed but i am not sure. We sit in different dept so she comes and sees me very regularly for stuff which is not so important and would go out of the way to do things at work for me. She tells me that she cannot say no to me ever. Sits on the floor and sometimes on my desk too when she has to talk to me. She is protective and i can see that when i am laughing around with guys she does not like it and would intervene. She asked me out 1-2 times indirectly like we should hang out together but at the same time she talks a lot about her ex-girl friends and I am not sure if she does that to make me feel jealous. She has come to my house twice and she stays very far away from where i live. I really like this girl but i am not sure if she likes me back. She will make a laugh a lot at work and always asks me if i am alright. Am i thinking too much? Is she being just a friend? Can anyone please help me and tell me what i should do?


  7. Babsie says

    Gosh am not a lesbian or so I think bt i think am inlove wit a married woman,we work together and she’s older than me,my my my,the way she speaks looks into my eyes her smell,it just kills me,i’v tried ignoring but everytime i see her face my heart just melts…we kinda close and i think she likes me too,coz judging the way laughs at my NOT FUNNY JOKES,alwys eye contact when we talk…I think I might stand a chance,but though I dont want 2 ruin our relationship…gosh when we hugged I nearly kissed her,but dont think she noticed…anyway I’v never felt like this about some1 else let alone a girl…I just dont know what 2 do…please HELP

  8. Moni says

    Personality has everything to do with it. If you, have a great personality people are just naturally drawn to you. Whether that be potential partners or strangers. I know for myself, I have a very outgoing personality. I’m not all in your face with it, but you would be hard pressed to see me not with a smile. I try my best to always maintain a very positive outlook on life. Not to mention I got a lot of things going on in my life between work full time and school full time, so I think another thing that attracts women and keeps them attracted to you is when they see you have ambitions or goals. Or let me put it this way the right kind of woman. The woman that you could possibly build a life with is going to want you to have goals, to be a better person. For me, it doesn’t take a lot to make a woman irresistable to me. It is pretty much the same thing. I’m really big on having a positive outlook on life. So, I’m naturally drawn towards people who portray that. I would of course be lying if I tried to say that the physical attributes of a woman don’t make them irresistable to me. There are definitely physical traits I find more attractive than others, but overall its the way in which a woman carries herself and presents those traits that really do it for me. And if she has a head on her shoulders, well you might just send me over the edge.

  9. Jessica says

    Women that act ask if they know you will want them. If not now, eventually. Women that are interested and persistent. I can never ignore that type for very long. Being wanted and pursued is pretty irresistible. When I see a confident woman, lol I think.. “Oh really? Okay, you have my attention.” Lol

  10. Name (required) says

    Am a soft butch if u can even call me that I have broken up with my girlfrfriend of 6 yrs and been doing the single scene for awhile I have never had trouble getting girls but not the one that I really wanted to be with , its the conversation I can hold with anyone , I can say that all of my past girlfriends in the past has had a problem with this , but I just have that where people are just drawing to me its a nice trade to have but at the same time it can be damaging too so becareful on what u are attracted to it might just be the only good thing about them

    • nina says

      Androgynous means you look kind of like a boy and kind of like a girl but you don’t necessary feel like you have to pick one over the other.

  11. Sofie says

    There is this one girl and I love what she does with her hair, it is long and black and every time she turns there is this wave of her shampoo.

    I also like girls that just sit around with a book and if I can see that they are with their thoughts completely in the book there is nothing more attracting to me.

    I always make sure that I smell good and and that I smile. Over the time I came to realize that having a smile on my face really makes a difference.

    What I really dislike is if someone has leftovers of nail polish on their fingers or not recently washed, greasy hair. It is a big no-go. (Oh, on the first date if you are constantly on the phone doesn’t leave a good impression either, because I mean am I that uninteresting that you have to text with someone else while we are talking?)

  12. Sydney says

    I make sure that I always smell good c:
    That way when I go in for a good bye hug not only do I give them a nice strong hug but they are left knowing I smell good.

  13. Sarah says

    I think being confident in your style or look is important. For example, there is a girl that I’m into right now and she dress borderline butch/femme. Depending on the day you know she’s a girl or question she’s a guy, but never do you think about if she’s uncomfortable in her own skin or any bystanders judging her. The way she carries herself is that she’s ok with who she is… And that’s something I use to struggle with, so seeing someone happy with who they are (oh and did I mention she’s very physically attractive??) makes me intriged and interested. Hook, line and sinker!

  14. Emily says

    I know this is weird but with the most recent person I’ve been interested in, aside from being attracted to her physically, there’s something about her voice tone that is attractive to me. I don’t know if it’s because she speaks in a bit of a higher pitch or what…and it’s weird because she is more butchy than me, which I usually like. So she’s got the butch style going on but she’s got a higher pitched voice and she is kind of shy. For some reason that really gets me. ;)

  15. Maxi says

    Regret is never rooted in the past . . rgeert is always rooted in an unsatisfactory present. What is it about your present life that you find unsatisfying? Or are you depressed? Your statements about everybody and nobody indicate a mental processing scheme that is a little off. you might be depressed and need help with that, quite separately from the question of being out or not.Is it possible that you are envious of the women around you who have overcome challenges? I am one of the women you talk about, married to a man before I realized I was gay, and I cry regularly at the years and years of pleasure I lost. Some of the women you are talking to who are so casual about that loss might be using their casualness to mask a very serious pain. Or they might have done their inner work, and be at a point where they really have integrated that experience in a wholesome way. But the point is, to be closeted is an experience of loss and darkness. That’s why you resisted it so ferociously. The words it wasn’t working , which are words I use to describe being straight, cover over years and years and years of alienation and suffering and loss. What is there to be jealous of in my experience of being closeted for so long? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. That was my rocky road and I walked it. Maybe you are looking for your own challenge, but feeling scared about taking it on, so feeling jealous of the challenges of others that really would have been quite easy for you to manage. That could be a kind of convoluted way of both telling yourself what you need to know (i.e., that there’s a challenge you need to take on) and hiding it from yourself at the same time (it’s someone else’s challenge and one that actually would have been quite easy for you to have overcome, as evidenced by your own bravery so far). Maybe you wish that you were someone who had overcome a challenge (that is easy for you).In which case, the relevant question is what challenge are you avoiding right now? Drop the idea that overcoming it is going to be easy. Start engaging it. When you have struggled with your own darkness and prevailed, you will not be jealous of the darkness that others have engaged. You will know what the taste of darkness really is and you will have a sense of yourself as an accomplished person, and when others tell you their stories and seem casual you will know, from your own experience, that the pain others carry is unknowable and that it’s best to focus on your own struggle because that’s the only one you have any hope with. You will be able to offer true compassion to others because you will know the meaning that those casual words of suffering carry. All the comparison stuff is just a way of distracting yourself from the basic point of your own life. Figure out what your challenge is, and take it on as your own. Then one day you too will be able to talk easily about mountains you have overcome. you have to earn it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.