Women are emotional (and hopelessly insecure) creatures. Okay, maybe that’s just me… and practically every other woman – gay, straight, or bi – that I’ve ever encountered. Regardless, the issue of jealousy seems to pop up like crazy in lesbian relationships, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we’re all… women.
Think about it: we tend to be friends with our exes. We tend to make out with our friends. We tend to run in really small circles. And we tend to shack up before we’ve really defined our relationships or given them a chance to take form. It’s no wonder we have issues with getting a little green. Obviously this is a huge generalization as I am not actually friends with my ex nor do I make out with my friends. But I know plenty of girls who do and although I may be stereotyping, most of the times, it’s true.
Unfortunately, many relationships between women end due to jealousy. And no matter how many times you can learn from that mistake, it’s really easy to keep making it (especially when your exes are really hot). Take it from me: it’s easier to fix this problem before it starts if you can.
Always Be Honest
How do you keep the Green Eyed Monster out of your relationship? For starters, be honest with each other. You could lie to your girlfriend about something as innocent as forgetting to take out the trash and suddenly see your relationship spin out of control. From her point of view, if she’s caught you in one lie it’s only natural for her to wonder what else you’ve been lying about. Where did you really go last night? Were you really all that surprised when you bumped into your ex at that restaurant? How long did you spend in the bathroom that night? What were you doing? Who were you doing? As you can see, it’s easy to let one simple thought spiral into a never ending circle of suspicion.
Trust One Another
Another way to stay away from jealousy issues is to build some genuine trust. If you can’t trust each other, how can you expect to stay in a relationship? Whether you’re talking about a friend, a family member, or a girlfriend, a true relationship cannot exist without trust. So when you enter a new relationship, try not to let past experiences keep you from trusting anyone. Sure, you should always be on guard and pay attention to the things that are staring you in the face. Just try not to get too caught up by figments of your imagination.
Be the FRIEND in Girlfriend
Finally, you can take some of the jealousy out of your relationship by acting as your title implies you should. Be her girlFRIEND. You trust your friends no matter what they might have done in the past. You don’t think they’re stealing from you, macking on your hottie, or otherwise trying to rain on your parade.
[testimonial1_arial author=”-Erica Jong”]“Jealously is all the fun you think they had.”[/testimonial1_arial]
Give your girlfriend the same courtesy you would give your general friends. Let her live her own life while still playing a major role in yours. Let her talk to another girl without automatically assuming there will be wedding bells in their future. Let her live as if she is – gasp – a person rather than just your girlfriend.
If you can treat each other with those general ideas and principles, you’ll see a rapid decline in your jealousy meters. Does that mean you’ll never be jealous again? Heck no. It just means that you’ll be able to stay in a relationship together without always being on the lookout for evil-doing bitches who have nothing better to do than ruin your life.
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