In the lesban world, texting is a VERY common way of securing a date with another woman. Whether you got her number at a bar/club or managed to get her digits over Facebook/Dating Website… in order to secure an actual meetup with this woman, be sure to avoid these lesbian texting mistakes at all cost!
Mistake #1: Confusing Responses For Attraction
Before you’ve had your first date with a girl, she won’t feel much of a connection to you. As unfortunate as it may be, you may not be the only lesbian texting her.
See, a common mistake most lesbians make when they’re texting a girl is that they mistake responses for attraction. Often when a lesbian is getting a response from a girl, she believes that she’s getting closer to getting her on a date or to seducing her.
The exact opposite is true!
The more texts you send before meeting up with a girl means the less of a chance you have of actually meeting up with her!
That’s right: even if a girl is RESPONDING to your texts, you’re not getting yourself any closer to actually getting her out on a date.
Instead, say more with less. Whenever you’re considering what to text a girl, see if you can say it simpler, with less texting back and forth.
Most lesbians send pointless texts to women like, “How’s your day?” or “Enjoying the warm weather?”
These texts don’t bring you any closer to a woman! They just beg for a response (which doesn’t mean anything). To make sure you NEVER again waste texts on pointless chatter, ask yourself this golden question:
- How is this text bringing this girl and me closer to a date?
If your answer is simply “to get to know her better,” erase the text. It’s not going to help you. Instead, get to know her better on your actual date. You’ll have more to talk about and will less likely run out of things to say.
Mistake #2: Not Conveying “Fun”
Here is the simple truth. When a woman gives you her number she is not signing a social contract to go out with you… And until it seems FUN for her… she’s probably not going to bother meeting up with you.
So when you send boring texts that don’t display any personality or don’t elicit any emotions in her… in her mind you’re not worth the trouble of meeting up with.
Here are some signs you’re not being fun:
- Am I being stiff and formal “Hi. It was nice meeting you friday”…. (too stiff. too formal)
- Am I putting pressure on her to keep the convo going?
- Am I badgering her with question?
Remember, every text you send should make you seem like the fun option. You should appear to be the escape from her boring day.
How do you do this?
Start choosing words that convey FUN. Be slightly exaggerated in your texts. Everything you’re doing or about to do should be epic or at least interesting.
Mistake #3: Not Having A Texting Style
If you’re texting an attractive woman chances are you are not the only lesbian she is getting a text from today.
Hate to break it to you. But between other women pursuing her, ex-girlfriends, perhaps even men, and so on… she’s got a lot of people vying for her attention.
So if you want to stand out- your texts need to display your unique style and personality.
She should be able to know it’s a text from you just by reading it (even if the name was blocked.) What words, phrases, punctuation, or emoticons are uniquely yours?
Example: I have a friend Kristy who begins every text the same way.
Kristy: yo yo yo LA is calling our name tonight… let’s go go go
I don’t even have to look at that text to know it was Kristy who sent it. She always texts in that same high energy, excited style (not to mention, she makes a GREAT wing-woman). And most of her texts begin with the yo yo yo intro…
I’m not saying to start using “yo yo yo” in the beginning of all your texts. Simply, find a way to voice your own personally through text.
Mistake #4: Having Long Text Conversations
Text conversations are not the same as actual conversations. Texting should be the “Super cool” cliff notes of a normal conversations.
Meaning: leave out the formalities and skip the small talk. The longer the conversation, the more chances to mess things up or run into awkward confusion.
Every time you pick up the phone… jump right into the good stuff. Start with a fun anecdote. Start with a teasing nickname. Find a way to quickly spark an emotion and get her paying full attention to you. You always have to be moving the conversation forward.
Think of it like there is a staircase. And at the top of that staircase is the girl sitting (naked) waiting for you.
Every text you send should be climbing you one step higher on that staircase.
Mistake #5: Going For The Meet-Up Without Sparking Emotion
Here is another hard, cold fact. If you ask a woman to hang out, without first sparking an emotion… she will almost always find a way to turn you down.
Because all of the positive emotions she felt when she was with you has dwindled. And the thought of getting dressed up, and going to meet a woman she barely knows (and the potential you’ll turn out to be a creep or just awkward) is not worth the effort.
Logically she can easily talk herself out of it.
Which is why you must engage her on an emotional level first. It is much easier to get a “yes” out of a woman once you’ve sparked a positive emotion. The two best ways to do this are with FLIRTING or HUMOR.
Here’s an important concept: She is not going to remember all your good qualities. So it’s your job to remind her.
Mistake #6: Becoming Too “Predictable”
Let’s say that you’ve now succeeded in getting up a date with a girl. You may think you’re home free when it comes to texting, but there’s still some things you need to keep in mind to ensure you continue to see your girl.
First, you never want to fall into predictable patterns. Lots of lesbians use the same jokes, same questions, and same texts over and over. While it may be easier to fall into “complacency” with a woman you’re dating, don’t do it!
Instead, break things up with some spice every once in a while.
Tell her you have a “surprise” to show her later. Tell her something reminded you of her, but don’t tell her what it is right away.
Ask her to send you a funny picture of something (or send her a funny picture of something).
Keep her guessing what your next text will be and you’ll keep her interested in you. Moreover, keeping the “spark” of a relationship alive is very important when it comes to creating a great sex life.
As long as you don’t become ultra-predictable, you should have your girl texting YOU asking YOU when you’re available to hang out.
Mistake #7: Thinking She’s Different
I have stressed over and over again “Never tell a girl how you feel about her over text”…
Yet, day after day I get emails from readers telling me a story about how they confessed their feelings to a girl over text…
And every time- they scare the girl away.
In your mind, you’re going to try to convince yourself that “She is different.” Or that “It won’t work on her” But the minute you tell yourself ‘she’s different’ you are on the road to losing her…
Lesbians continually do things like:
- Texting her too much
- Paying her gushing compliments over text
- Not asking her to hang out because you’re scared…
And time and time again they’ll face the same consequences as all the other lesbians have… She’s NOT different. And if anytime you start thinking she is pull out this post and re-read it.
Over To You
I hope this has been helpful in what not to do over text. Maybe you aren’t committing any of these mistakes or you’ve noticed yourself committing a few (which you can now stop).
What are some of the biggest texting errors you’ve committed? Or what are some texts you’ve received that were an instant turn-off? The Other Team is all about lesbians helping one another, so let’s hear some of your valuable advice/opinion!
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As always, thanks for reading and see you next week!