Top 10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong

[UPDATE] WARNING: This article includes strong cases of satire and sarcasm. If you do not understand those two concepts, do not continue reading and go purchase a dictionary immediately.

There has been a lot of talk going around lately about the issues of gay rights, and human equality, and the sanctity of marriage, and blah, blah, blah.

As a REAL AMERICAN, I’m about to lay down the facts for you as to why gay marriage SHOULD NOT be legal. Here are the top 10 reasons why gay marriage is wrong:

 

1. It’s Not Natural

Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Other People Will Be Gay

Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. It Will Lead To Other Crazy Behavior

Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Marraige Isn’t Open To Change

Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all. Women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. The Sanctity of Marriage Will Be Broken

Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour-just-for-fun and Kim Kardashian’s 72-day-highly-profitable marriage would be destroyed.

6. Marriage Should Produce Children

Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Gay Parents = Gay Kids

Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. It Is Not Supported By Religion

Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

9. A Male And Female Role Model Is Required

Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressively forbid single parents to raise children.

10. It Will Change the Foundation Of Society

Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. We could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the downfall economy, or longer life spans.

 

Over To You

There you have it. If this list doesn’t convince you, I’m not sure what will! If you agree with all or any one of my points. PLEASE like, share, and tweet, this post. If you seek change, it is your responsibility to educate the rest of the world!

I’d love to hear some of your opinions in the comment section as well. Love it? Hate it? Have a rebuttal? Let me know in the comments below!

See you next Monday!

Rock On,
SLUSH

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Comments

  1. eyelinerlesbian10 says

    WARNING: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE

    sat·ire
    ˈsaˌtīr
    noun
    the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
    synonyms: mockery, ridicule, derision, scorn, caricature

  2. exo says

    sad, not funny, not clever, and yes, i know its supposed to be sarcasm but you missed the mark. the whole thing is just overly simplistic and not clever .sorry . you could have done something funny and insightful here but its just not it

  3. Anonymous says

    You are actually the most stupid being to have ever opened their mouth. Your apparent “sarcasm” sucks; go trip on the dicks of homosexual males and females, you imbecile.

    • fjdndns says

      It’s a great use of satire actually. It’s so disappointing to see so many people not understand its use here in this list and the fact people are getting so offended and heated by it. I think it pokes holes in a lot of the useless arguments from those that oppose gay marriage.

  4. THE TRUTH says

    God love all the sinners but god hates sins …. GOD CREATE ADAN AND EVE NOT ADAN AND STEVE… IF YOU KNOW THAT IS A SIN ? , WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? … MY ADVICE TO ALL THAT READ A BIBLE AND KEEPS EVERY WORDS WHAT GOD SAYS.. and I WILL SAY THIS THAT WE ALL PEOPLE IS NOT FOREVER IN THIS WORLD …. BUT WHEN YOU DOWN TO HELL BECAUSE YOU HAVEN T CHANGE … AND THAT IS FOREVER… I HOPE U UNDERSTAND ME …

    • eyelinerlesbian10 says

      Besides the fact that I’m an atheist, here’s why ‘God’ would create ‘Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve': Obviously, if there are two people on the earth, they would hopefully be able to reproduce. Hence, Adam and Eve. But since there are billions of people on the earth, reproduction is obviously not a problem. Hence, condoms/birth control/adoptions/foster care/sperm donors.

      Also, I believe it’s Adam, not ADAN. Also, I would much rather go to hell, considering all the fun people are going there. I do not want to be stuck with a bunch of people like you. You sound like you have a stick up your ass.

      MY ADVICE TO ALL THAT READ A DICTIONARY AND KEEPS EVERY WORDS WHAT MERRIAM-WEBSTER SAYS

    • Anonymous says

      I thought his name was Adam not Adan, hmm…..proven that people don’t always interpret the bible right

  5. Lava says

    This is bullshit..

    First of all, if gay marriage isn’t natural, there wouldn’t be so many gay people. Need I say more?

    Secondly, I think everyone who is reading this knows how stupid the second reason is.

    Thirdly, how the hell will gay marriage lead to ‘other crazy behavior’? That doesn’t even make any sense.

    Fourthly, you’re wrong.

    Fifthly, your reasons don’t have any reasoning, especially for the fifth reason.

    Sixthly, there are married couples that don’t have any kids, and that is perfectly fine… Same with gays.

    Seventh, I’m pretty certain that is not true. Even if it was, would that be a bad thing? There isn’t anything wrong with being gay.

    Eighth, if that is true, it should be supported by every religion. Even if god doesn’t approve of it, he still loves all of us, whether or not we are gay or straight.

    Ninth, why do you say that? Gender doesn’t affect who is a good Role Model, or who is a bad one.

    Tenth, oh my god you are so stupid.

    • Maraieth says

      I love how you just completely missed the point of this article or didn’t read the beginning part. Go look up sarcasm and satire, then realise what an idiot you’ve been :)

  6. Echo1Echo2 says

    Frankly if anything flying in a metal box extremely high up in the air at crazy speeds being fueled by liquid dinosaurs is fucking unnatural not love. And fyi the amount of people in the world is killing the world so stop complaining about the place where kids go to suffer called orphanages not being full. We HAVE adapted to cars, longer life spans, whatever the hell humanity has created. The rest of these stupid reasons aren’t even worth arguing with because they are so fucking biased and just plain dum (yeah that includes religion).

    • DaisyMaya says

      Although I support gay marriage, I think that you are very wrong to say that religion is dumb. Everyone should have the right to practice their religion, no matter what it is

    • Anonymous says

      Ok I am not religious myself, buy for those who are and feel like bashing, first of all you do not follow gods words. I recall something about not judging others because there is only one person who can do that. Secondly, the government is separated from religion. And like so many pointed out many religious & non religious people get divorced and married for reasons other than love. So I recommend some people get off their high horse and just learn to adapt to everyday life. The tides are turning and your bigot ways won’t hold back the waves. So if you feel like standing your ground then have fun drowning. We’ll clean up after you :)

  7. Anonymous-LCO says

    Look at wildlife. It is proven that with us, many problems will happen in the future. Though without us, life will flourish. I think we’ve come to a point where we need to look at other signs of life to remind us who we are. I am saying this because you don’t see other gay animals, creatures, or any other life form. They’re the life forms that have kept our world balanced for the past thousands of years. We humans are just another life form, but worse. Don’t make us the ones who need to look at wildlife and say “Oh yeah, we’re supposed to be like that”. Oh, and you were born that way? You were born gay? That’s like if I was born a writer. I wasn’t born a writer – I got into it. Same with any sexual orientation. Other life forms aren’t born gay, so what makes us so special to be “born” these ways? Heh, give me a break. You all sicken me.

    • Anonymous says

      Clearly you studied writing and not human sexuality. No other animals become gay because no other animals obtain the depth of social and physical awareness that make humans human. It’s hard to argue that millions of humans’ sexual orientation is unnatural when the human mind is a product of nature. I suggest you open your mind to what’s real instead of fighting it. You may wind up understanding yourself better.

      • padfootfan123 says

        Yeah…no animals exhibit homosexual behaviour…except bison, bears, rats, cats, dolphins, dogs, elephants, foxes, giraffes, goats, horses, koalas, lions, orcas, racoons, barn owls, chickens, penguins, ravens, seagulls, topminnows, salmon, bearded dragons, whiptail lizards, western rattlesnakes, mourning geckos, and black spotted frogs, just to name a few.

        And how many species exhibit homosexual behaviour? Yep that’s right – just us humans.

        Please do a quick Google search before posting lies in future. It’s not hard.

    • YouNeedEducation says

      Clearly you are saying that people choose to be gay. So when exactly did you choose to be straight? How do you know that you are straight? It’s very idiotic assumption as you have not studied anything like it. You liked writing so you got into it. How can anyone just like a sexuality and wake up one day saying ‘hey, i wanna become a gay’. Think about it. It’s ridiculous. Gay people faces problems which straight face and in addition to that they face problems relating to Bullying, Discrimination etc. Again, why will any CHOOSE this kinds of lifestyle. It’s almost like when white people and black people were treated differently in history, today gay people and straight people face the equivalent problem.

    • Anonymous says

      So you’re basically saying that it’s a choice to be gay? Okay so if you wanted to you could be gay too, right? You could get aroused by looking at men or thinking about them sexually? You’d enjoy it, right? Because it’s obviously a choice, you could easily just decide to ‘be gay’ like you could if you wanted to be a writer? Wow, why don’t you ‘try’ to ‘be gay’? Please, show us all that it’s just a choice and not something you’re born with. Also from what I read, you probably think being straight is a choice too, huh?

  8. Maddie says

    If people are GAY you can’t change that! Who cares if the bible says its wrong, love IS love and will always be love. Wonan or woman, man or man man or woman. I’m bisexual I found this offensive, you can’ stop people from loving. No you can’t so face it.

    • Anon says

      It is being EXTREMELY sarcastic. The explanations give it away ex: “Women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal”. The author is being very sarcastic, and using sarcasm to attack the point the anti-gay marriage groups try to put forth as reasons why gay marriage should not be permitted.

  9. TheMDecimal says

    the person who wrote this article is a douche. :) i’m a homosexual and i do not take kindly to your rude discrimination, douche. also, you are a douche.

    • Fuck you says

      These are invalid because these reasons aren’t eve fucking legal problems. Religion doesn’t matter and “other people being gay” is so stupid

    • Nick says

      You might actually not get it…. It’s making fun of people who oppose gay marriage… shouldn’t you be laughing because it is saying ignorant things ON PURPOSE? “Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children” I mean come on… LOOK AT THIS… OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE KNOWS THAT GAY PEOPLE CAN COME FROM STRAIGHT PARENTS

    • eyelinerlesbian10 says

      How did you not get the sarcasm? It says that women are still property, divorce is illegal, and blacks and whites can’t marry? what century do you live in?

  10. Smithg706 says

    Aw, this was a very nice post. In thought I want to put in writing like this moreover taking time and actual effort to make an excellent article but what can I say I procrastinate alot and not at all seem to get something done. fagabdgbek

  11. chavez says

    nigga no air conditioning? it be too hot in this bitch. Oh and also i know some homies that be gay they be too chill for life.

  12. Society says

    This is a true story though: A guy from India got married to a US citizen male in Europe, he’ ll be in the US soon because the Immigration law is now allowing US citizen to petition same sex spouse to come here. I know this guy: The fact is he is not even gay. How easy! Way to go: the door is open

  13. Daisymaya says

    1If everyone were straight, the world would be overpopulated. Then there would not be enough food for everyone, and we would have a one child rule like in China.
    2. Who cares if other people are gay? And also, it is not that more people are gay, it’s that more gay people are ready to say that they are gay, which is actually quite good.
    3. Having sex with someone of the same gender may disgust you, but having sex with someone of the opposite gender may disgust a gay person.
    4. God loves everyone, even if they are gay.
    5. If a dragonfruit is still a fruit, even if it is not an apple, then gay marriage is still marriage, and Is just as great.
    6. The world is overpopulated anyway, we don’t need too many more kids.
    7. Thats because being gay is natural and normal.
    8. See 4
    9. So are you saying that a child is doomed when one of their parents dies?
    10. Everything changes society.

  14. allsarcasimsaretrue says

    trying to be sarcastic? but it wasn’t. Cause all the reasons you gave where true!!!! good work

  15. Silent Observer says

    These comments literally made my day, even if half of them belonged to trolls. Love all ya guys, even if you’re against the ‘idea’ of homosexuality.

    Just to peacefully (with full knowledge that someone’s out there who’s not going to like what I’m saying) comment, if it bothers you that much, use a little extra brain power to consider what the other party’s saying. As long as they have their own personal (I stress, personal) opinions and do not restrict/harm-in-terms-of-rights with the other party, then let them have those opinions. Marriage is a delicate subject, given the two sides take on it. I vote for the freedom of the whole- just because the majority have a view on marriage (I don’t like to single out anyone, since there are other groups that do this as well, but I generally mean Christians against gay-marriage/rights here), doesn’t mean that it should be restricting the rights of people such as, but not limited to, atheists or other Christians/religious people believe in. By ‘marriage’, I simply mean the government recognizing the union of two people as the government currently does with married couples. Holy Matrimony (which is an religious part of marriage, again, not embraced by all) is completely different and should be decided upon the chruch/whatever does that sort of thing. Talking towards the anti-gay-marriage/rights Christians here (and whoever else fits what I’m about to say), if your religion doesn’t allow homosexuality, then that can be your personal-again, personal- belief. I’m going to sound like a hippie, but go around and love people, ’cause even if they contradict what you personally believe in, they might not do you harm if they love ya too. If they do harm you, then that their personal thing, and shouldn’t be cast as judgement to others like them. There are awful straight people, gay people, trans people, cis people, bi people, pan people, asexual people, demi-sexual people, and whatever other kind of people there are, but there’s always good people among each of those groups. I promise, without fail if you give them a chance as an individual.

    I know there are people who agree and disagree. I can at least tolerate you for being fellow human beings. I don’t consider some my friends, and I consider some my enemies, but if I can hold on to a shred that some humans can be good, then I’d rather be optimistic about everyone.

    So….yeah. Really hilarious article. Didn’t have to read the warning to figure out it was satire. So, so, so funny.

  16. Loves God AND Girls says

    Hi Troll (otherwise known as ‘Pastor Stone.’)

    I try to ignore people like you but impersonating a Christian and making all of us look bad is rude. Anyway in Matthew 5:22 Jesus said that calling people a fool (or in some translations an idiot) is wrong. I am not saying I have never cursed anyone before but I am just calling you out on it and saying that either a) you are not actually a pastor – because a pastor should/would not bash other people. (Let me add to that: no loving, kind or civilized human should/would bash other people). b) if you really are a fundamentalist Christian remember to “Love your neighbor as yourself,” and please try and read your bible. <3
    A lesbian Christian. :)

  17. past your stone head says; says

    not as long as you,sir, you base your whole life on the FANTASY of religion.i actually feel sorry for you. what a waste of a life!

    • eyelinerlesbian10 says

      I’m an atheist and a lesbian. I have my problems with religion, but you are obviously extremely ignorant. Other people have a right to their beliefs, as long as they don’t use them in a violent or cruel way.

  18. iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

    This made my day! Such a funny article. I am equally amused by the people who are really, really bad at detecting sarcasm (and somehow don’t notice that this is a lesbian site) and the homophobes who say the same thing as this article, except they mean it. I am worried for the human race after seeing all the stupid assholes in the comments. Aah, well. PROUD DYKE!

  19. Sophie says

    The amount of people that think you’re serious is ridiculous. I’m ashamed of society today. LEARN TO UNDERSTAND SARCASM YOU IDIOTIC TWATS!
    But really, this is hilarious.

  20. Just saying says

    I did not really mean what I said. If I could I would delete that stupid comment I made but I can’t. im sorry if I offended anyone, please don’t ever take other people’s jokes opinions or criticism seriously. All that truly matters is what makes you happy and what you know is right deep inside. I mean what im saying and again I apologize for that immature comment I posted.

    • Sarah says

      According to your definition you must be a gay men. Clearly this method of commenting on a post with pathetic comments trying to undermine gays is both weak and cowardly. Have fun adjusting to this newfound lifestyle!

      • Just saying says

        Nope, im not Gay. It`s obvious that I was messing around, im sorry if I offended or annoyed anyone. I guess no one can take a joke anymore, I hate how people are so quick to assume shit nowdays.

        • Cheryl says

          I love the ole “sorry if you can’t take a joke” excuse when it really it wasn’t a joke! Sorry, it wasn’t obvious, and use your mouth filter once in a while, If you can find yours. Like I’ve said before and will most likely say again, just because you think it, doesn’t mean you have to say it!

          • Just saying says

            How do you know if it wasn`t a joke? Can you read my mind? People please don’t get mad over some dumb comment from someone you don’t even know. What about this site, Top Ten Reasons Why Gat Marriage Is Wrong, is that not offensive and judgmental? And they are not joking too.

        • J says

          Well, “just saying”, your humor doesn’t amuse me at all. But I saw an advantage here to state my opinion about gays and gay marriage. And here it is: Homosexuality isn’t a mental disease, but it IS a handicap or malfunction that some people are born with. The level of severity of this malfunction determines how the person handles this handicap during his/her lifetime. Some people know something is “different” about his/herself while young. I sympathize with them, for they can’t help what they are feeling. I’m sure many try to fight it off. In today’s society, they soon learn that homosexuality is now accepted and not “wrong”. At least they don’t have to suffer while hiding their disability and wondering if they are just wierd or evil or mentally unbalanced. Now gays can be open about their homosexuality and for the most part, know that it is “ok”. Some straight people still don’t get it and won’t accept it. That’s life. Can’t please everybody. But here is where the line should be drawn: Marriage between two people of the same sex ridiculous! If two homosexuals want a ritual to celebrate their union, then they should come up with a ceremony or ritual of their own and give it a name that applies to homosexuals! Don’t go around demanding all the rights of straight men and women! Why should gays have the right to steal what belongs to straight men and women and try to change it all around to benefit homosexual wants and desires? And to make matters worse, why should children be forced to live with homosexuals and be raised to think that being homosexual is as normal as being straight? That isn’t right! I’ve listened to gay people who say they shouldn’t be punished for being born with this “abnormality”. I agree! But does that give gay people the right to raise straight children up to believe that gays and their sexual lifestyles are normal?? What picture do you expect a child to have in his mind about his two male parents performing sex in bed? The picture that comes to my mind is indescribable, unless you want to read my definition of one man’s penis being thrusted into another man’s anus! And how do those parents justify that dirty act to their child?

          • JJ says

            Thanks for talking some sense in this issue. I totally agree. It’s not harsh or discriminatory to say that all choices when it comes to sexual morality are NOT equal and should NOT be merited that way. Just because you have SSA doesn’t mean that’s who you are, you have the ability to act upon the good or the bad that you’re born with.

          • iheartgirls says

            Thanks for your “support”. Marriage is still marriage. We don’t need another fucking word for the same union. If we say that, then do we need another word for the union of a white person and black person? NO. Obviously. And being gay is not a handicap. Why can’t you people realize that??? Also, I find it hilarious that you are so offended by gay sex. What picture do you expect to come to a child’s mind about his heterosexual parents having sex in bed? That’s just as much a dirty act and the thought of it would disgust children.

  21. Sarah says

    There is scientific evidence that having some people being gay is a part of evolution. The behaviour is observed in many types of animals, not just humans, and is hypothesised to be a device for population control. If one in ten couples don’t produce children, this will streamline the genetic material and make food more prevalent for the children of the nine couples because there are fewer to share it with. If you think that being gay is not “natural” than you must be overlooking the fact that gays have walked the earth as long as heteros, and that there is also such a thing as being gay in the animal kingdom. The only difference: no homophobia in animals.

  22. Gays are gross. Plain and simple. says

    Im a guy and im not attracted to any man at all, it`s impossible for me to have any sexual thought`s of another guy, I watch porn like lesbian or a girl with a guy, and even then I only look and focus at the women. I even watch Hentai, and even though Hentai/Anime girls are not real I would much rather look at those animated girls then the most attractive man on Earth even if he is real. That is my opinion.

    • Annoyed says

      Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean that others can’t. The world doesn’t revolve around you, dude. I find both men and women attractive.

    • iheartgirls says

      Ummm, dude. WAKE UP! Just cause you don’t like something doesn’t mean others can’t. I don’t like mushrooms. But I don’t assume that other people can’t. Hell, I don’t like you at all. But I’m sure that some idiots do.

      • Not So Fast says

        I did not say or tell anyone to not like Gay’s or Lesbians, it’s your Choice if you like them or not just like it’s youir choice to be Gay or Lesbian or Straight. I don’t really care im just speaking my opinion. That’s ok I don’t really like you too, anyone that calls my friends and family idiot’s I don’t like.

    • Loves God AND Girls says

      Wait… Wait… Question… You watch lesbian porn but you would deny lesbians equal rights to marry? That sounds a little bit hypocritical if you ask me. But I guess that doesn’t matter because you are obviously a troll. Have a good day! :)

      • Not So Fast says

        I never said anything about Lesbians, I like most of them. Two men are gross and sickening to me but two girls is kinda hot to me. : 3

    • Not gay, Not hypocrite, Values ones rights says

      OMG thanks to this troll I had the best laugh of my day!! this poor sad little man watches a whole lot of porn!!

      • Thanks man says

        Lol yeah I do watch and fap to a lot of porn and Hentai, Im gald a poor little guy like me can make your day! I hope a lot more of us sad little men out there can make you roll around and laugh your ass off! : P

  23. U got to agree on this. ; ) says

    One thing I will say and admit is watching two young hot Lesbian couple`s or lovers make out and touch themselves or each other is HOT AS FUCK!!!

    • Loves God AND Girls says

      I know you are just trying to annoy people and get a reaction. So I will be calm. I just wanted to say:
      1. Getting hot because of a marriage makes me wonder if you have some kind of sexual problem…
      2. You are sexualizing lesbian relationships on a lesbian empowerment site. This makes me wonder if you have a sick sense of humor and no empathy or concern for other people (aka are showing psychopathic symptoms).

      Anyway, I am writing with the concern and compassion for you when I say: please, please see a doctor for your sex problem. No need to be ashamed – you are probaly not the only person to have a problem with your man-parts (or lack of man parts – real men show respect) Also please see a psychiatrist for your psychopathic tendancies. Or at the very least show a little respect. <3

      • Dude chill out. says

        Dude calm down. I am not a damn Psychopath, I just find girls/women very attractive and get turned on and horny sometimes. I will admit I have a masturbating problem I watch a lot of porn and Hentai and I blow a good bit of money at strip clubs and I may hook up with a prostitute now and then. But I never disrespected or offended a girl in person and if I did I always apologized. Hell I even kicked the shit out of a guy that tried to harass a girl I knew once. So please don’t worry about me, im just obsessed with girls/women if anything.

      • DaisyMaya says

        Btw loves god and girls, very nice username. Of course it okay to be a lesbian Christian!!! :)

  24. jejr says

    Marriage is not for everyone. For example, minors can’t marry. Mentally handicapped people can’t marry. Humans can’t marry their pets

    • Anonymous says

      Minors, mentally handicapped people, and animals cannot marry because they are either too young to legally sign a marriage contract, or are unable to consent to marriage.
      And incase you didn’t know, some countries allow people to marry as young as nine years of age. America does not because we realize children under the legal age do not have the mental capacity to understand marriage, let alone agree to it.

    • Awesome Abby says

      Minors, mentally handicapped people, and animals cannot marry because they are either too young to legally sign a marriage contract, or are unable to consent to marriage.
      And incase you didn’t know, some countries allow people to marry as young as nine years of age. America does not because we realize children under the legal age do not have the mental capacity to understand marriage, let alone agree to it.

  25. Anonymous says

    Marriage is not for everyone. For example, minors can’t marry. Mentally handicapped people can’t marry. Humans can’t marry their pets

    • Loves God AND Girls says

      All those examples are of people (or non-humans) who are unable to give consent. Those laws are there to protect them from sexual harm. (Ex. A two year old girl can’t marry a man because she would probably be sexually abused and is not old enough to understand marriage or sex.) On the other hand, LGBT people (who are old enough) are able to give consent to marry and have sex. So, if the relationship is consensual and the people are committed to one another, how come you believe LGBT marriage is wrong?

  26. supporter (i wont tell you if im gay or not cause it shouldn't matter) (i'm not) (fully gay) (yet) says

    What what in the butt, dude, Just go with the flow, Gay is the way, Taste the Rainbow.

    • No thank you sir! says

      I would rather eat Skittles candy then have some other guy stick his god dang dick in my asshole, ugh! I can`t stand the gross things two gay men do to each other. VOMIT! X {

      • iheartgirls says

        And I would rather eat mushrooms (which i despise) than have some guy stick his god dang dick into my vagina, ugh! I can ‘t stand the gross things men and women do to each other. VOMIT! X {

        And if you didn’t get the message, if you don’t like gay sex than don’t do it. Also, you’re an asshole.

      • crazy but true says

        Any guy that has anal sex with a female is the same thing as having anal sex with a guy. There are more gay guys out there than we know.

        • No it's not. says

          WRONG. Anal sex with a female is 1000 times better then with a hairy guy with muscles. I never did anything with a man nor would I ever, men are hairy and have dicks while women have smooth soft skin, silky hair, pretty eyes and face, and many other thing that are so much better. I can see why there are Lesbians out there sometimes.

          • It almost seems... says

            that lesbianism is a consequence of a patriarchal society in flux. The reasoning for this would be a society that glorifies the female form. So what happens is that women grow up inundated with images of sexualized women, being sympathetic as they are, grow up to eventually seek them out.

            Couple this with the portrayal of men as imbecilic, it’s not hard to imagine why this lifestyle is on the rise.

            If the issue is about love, why is there an orientation in the first place?

  27. David says

    It really doesn’t offend any “god”. Maybe if he existed than yes. I do disagree with gay marriage but I think that it should be a right we have to marry whomever we wish to marry.

    • John says

      No, so you would want people to marry dogs, or even a dang tree it shows how far we have strayed from what the good days were.God does exist my friend there are many facts around you that you will have to open up your eyes fully so to speak. There are people that try to prove God does not exists because they know how much of a evil person they are and will not want to face the consequences.

      • i have no comment says

        did you really just compare homesexuals to a tree, are you aware that liking the same sex dent make you an object, you would still be a person, unlike trees that can not actually talk. If the trees are talking to you, please get help child.

      • Awesome Abby says

        Minors, mentally handicapped people, and animals cannot marry because they are either too young to legally sign a marriage contract, or are unable to consent to marriage.
        And incase you didn’t know, some countries allow people to marry as young as nine years of age. America does not because we realize children under the legal age do not have the mental capacity to understand marriage, let alone agree to it.

      • Kyle says

        what do you mean by so? You would rather in the future have a kid a find out he is playing butt darts with other kids or your girl eating “tacos”. Because i know my kids will not be around any homosexuals and i would be ashamed as any parent or future parent would if your kids turned out gay

        • iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

          Well, now we know that you’re a shitty parent who’s also a complete asshole! Enjoy that knowledge!

    • anonymous says

      ohh really ?1 wath do you say about the hetero couples that don’t have children?
      ohhh if a woman is infertily she can’t marry? sorry for the bad inglish ^^ …

    • iheartgirls says

      That’s what adopting and sperm/egg donors are for. Ta-da! And what about infertile heterosexual men/women. Should they not be allowed to marry?

  28. the merciful says

    OmG… People with same dick,, fuckin em self… Girls with pussy. fingering them self.. They call it love.. Fine God said love one another.. Not romance love.. Well All I wonna say is that..all Homosexual gonna be in the lake of fire.. Repent befor its too late.. A day is coming..The Day when a wrongdoer will bite his
    hands and say, “Alas for me! If only I had
    gone the way of the Messenger! Alas for me!
    If only I had not taken so-and-so for a
    friend! He led me astray from the Reminder
    after it came to me.” Evil always leaves man
    in the lurch.

    • iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

      Actually, you just make my day. This is hilarious. Even if I believed in god or hell, I want to go to hell if that’s where all the hot lesbians are! Kisses!

    • Loves God AND Girls says

      I am not sure if this is a troll, serious fundamentalist or satire. I’m inclined to believe 1 or 2. Poe’s Law is at work here…

      Anyway, if this is satire great. If this is your religious beliefs – check out what Jesus had to say about love. If you are a troll – I am kind of offended.

      A lesbian Christian.

    • DaisyMaya says

      Love IS love. Man and woman, woman and woman, man and man. Everyone has the right to love, no matter who they love, or what gender they are.

  29. Anonymous says

    OmG… People with same dick,, fuckin em self… Girls with pussy. fingering them self.. They call it love.. Fine God said love one another.. Not romance love.. Well All I wonna say is that..all Homosexual gonna be in the lake of fire.. Repent befor its too late.. A day is coming..The Day when a wrongdoer will bite his
    hands and say, “Alas for me! If only I had
    gone the way of the Messenger! Alas for me!
    If only I had not taken so-and-so for a
    friend! He led me astray from the Reminder
    after it came to me.” Evil always leaves man
    in the lurch.

  30. badhomosexuality says

    The gay society will later, after decades, will grow to be an integral part of our society. Our children interacting with theirs, this mental disease of homosexuality would spread and ma be a century later straight marriages would be looked upon as a bad thing. who would want that. And all those people bickering about love, we should love everyone indeed but there’s a difference between how you love your mother and how you love your wife. open your minds and think, let the egos go and may be you’ll figure it out.
    and besides if human beings were supposed to have sexual relationships with their own genders why would we have a biology that works allegorically to a lock and a key. Neither of them is complete without each other. open your minds, fools. I am saying fools because I used to be one of you.

    • Anonymous says

      (this is to the Person who Wrote this article.)

      DIE IN HELL!!!

      Who are you to Decide Someones sexual preference!

      I am a 13 yr old girl

      • David says

        And I quote “WARNING: This article includes strong cases of satire and sarcasm. If you do not understand those two concepts, do not continue reading and go purchase a dictionary immediately.”
        And nobody gives a shit how old you are.

        • Daisymaya says

          How about being nice to a teenager because they may not be prepared for your hardcore swearing? Be nice!

      • The reality says

        Dick are you a lesbian if it’s right why do men have pinuses and demon have viginas there is a reason we have those…TO REPRODUCE can same-sex sex reproduce children I fully support the writer of this article

        • iheartgirls says

          Did you read this article? It’s making fun of people like you, if you are too stupid to notice. (which you are.)

      • Anonymous says

        Obviously you are only 13. The article is clearly satirical! (Meaning – making fun of people who do believe those things to be true)…

      • J says

        Homosexuality isn’t a mental disease, but it IS a handicap or malfunction that some people are born with. The level of severity of this malfunction determines how the person handles this handicap during his/her lifetime. Some people know something is “different” about his/herself while young. I sympathize with them, for they can’t help what they are feeling. I’m sure many try to fight it off. In today’s society, they soon learn that homosexuality is now accepted and not “wrong”. At least they don’t have to suffer while hiding their disability and wondering if they are just wierd or evil or mentally unbalanced. Now gays can be open about their homosexuality and for the most part, know that it is “ok”. Some straight people still don’t get it and won’t accept it. That’s life. Can’t please everybody. But here is where the line should be drawn: Marriage between two people of the same sex ridiculous! If two homosexuals want a ritual to celebrate their union, then they should come up with a ceremony or ritual of their own and give it a name that applies to homosexuals! Don’t go around demanding all the rights of straight men and women! Why should you have the right to steal what belongs to straight men and women and try to change it all around to benefit homosexual wants and desires? And to make matters worse, why should children be forced to live with homosexuals and be raised to think that being homosexual is as normal as being straight? That isn’t right! I’ve listened to gay people who say they shouldn’t be punished for being born with this abnormality. I agree! But does that give gay people the right to raise straight children up to believe that gays and their sexual lifestyles are normal?? What picture do you expect a child to have in his mind about his two male parents performing sex in bed? The picture that comes to my mind is indescribable, unless you want to read my definition of one man’s penis being thrusted into another man’s anus! And how do those parents justify that dirty act to their child?

        • DavidG says

          its dirty to you. Their life style isn’t normal to you. either everyone gets to marry or no one does. besides, what picture do you expect a child to have in his mind about his two male and female parents have sex in bed?

  31. Meep says

    I don’t believe in gay marriage but I don’t hate gay people. Yes, gay people may get bullied and if that happens, we shouldn’t cheer for that. Bullying is wrong. You can be gay but it is something that I don’t believe in. You can hate me for this but I just would like to speak my opinion. I do believe in God (I can see lots of people rolling their eyes now) and He does say that gay marriage is wrong but I’ll leave it up to Him to show how this will all end. You may not agree with me, but you don’t have to curse me out. In fact, you shouldn’t be cursing out anyone. Like I said earlier, bullying. You shouldn’t be cruel to anyone who disagrees with you. (World peace) Now, I’ll conclude with one last thing:

    Be kind because as I can see from these other comments, barely anyone has been kind. If you were, great. If not, just learn to respect others.

    Thank you and have a nice day.

    • fantasylover says

      @Meep:
      I could not agree more! I do not support gay marriage, but I would never berate or hate on anyone because they are gay.
      I am 15 and a Christian, and I hate to see other Christians degrade gays as though they are freaks. they are human beings.
      We should be setting an example of love. Loving them does not mean you have to accept what they believe. Christ ate with sinners and tax collectors…he showed His care for a prostitute when everyone else secluded themselves from her. This is how we ought to act!

  32. reasonalperson says

    This “article” is one of these most ignorant, hateful things I have read in a while. Congratulations on your arrogant and illogical thinking.

      • you're right , says

        17 year old boy ….Correct ,a boy .
        Go & finish your education , than start working – than you’ll know what life is about . First grow up .

        • Abrahams daughter says

          I have been working since I was fourteen, I finished my education at fifteen. I am a bisexual, raising my two siblings because our mom is too drunk to do anything. Our mom is straight, I know this because she’s slept with every guy in town. My little sister is 13, 100 percent straight, a straight A student and she’s never been in any trouble. My brother is fourteen, a straight A student, and straight. I know what life is about, I know how hard it is to feed four people and pay the bills on minimum wage. I know that I want to be able to know that I can marry the man or woman of my dreams some day.

        • Emma says

          Maybe it’s because it is okay?
          How about you grow up and don’t go on telling me some stupid stuff like how it’s apparently in the bible and stuff like that because don’t believe God so you guys should leave him alone and let him be free.
          Who are you to judge?

  33. Anonymous says

    What u r saying is wrong.
    All people are to be equal. We shouldn’t be against gays or lesbians we are no one to judge them. And u talked about religion, under God we are all the same no matter what.

    • Smelly says

      O no, we got another guy bringing up equality. Yes you as a person should be treated equally, but thinking homosexuality is okay and healthy is completely different and yes God loves you no matter what. If you at least know it’s wrong and try to stop and ask God to help you you might be okay. Although, If you think it’s okay and embrace it, and believe it or not being gay is an abomination. I’m not to sure your name would be in the book of life, but only time will tell. even though, why would you want to risk it?

    • natalie says

      I can’t believe the appalling and hurtful comments that people actually take seriously that have been posted on this page. Gay people may be seen as different to some but they are still people and have feelings like everyone else in this world we share. The fact that this page mentions that gay marriage may lead to people marrying their pets is appalling to me. People need to learn to accept the actions of others and tolerate others decisions. If two men or women decide they are in love and wish to make a life long commitment to each other people need to accept it because their decisions do not concern you. The fact that people are judging these people for how they parent their children is ridiculous. These people love their children the same if not more than we do and I’m sure if a child is provided with a safe and sustainable house hold they will love and accept them no matter what their sexuality may be. I hope the people that created this take the time and get to know someone with a different sexuality because I promise you they are no different nor are they alien creatures like you describe them as in this article.

      • Hello says

        As the warning at the beginning of this article stated, “This article includes strong cases of satire and sarcasm. If you do not understand those two concepts, do not continue reading and go purchase a dictionary immediately.”

      • Smelly says

        your a perverted freak plain and simple. I’ve met gay people and they disgust me. At the gym I go to there’s this gay dude doing all kinds of bizarre exercises and tries to be provocative. It fucking makes me sick. Especially when he tries to talk to me or look at me from the mirrors. I can’t even go to the gym and be comfortable. Fuck those nasty mother fuckers. Also, at a party I caught two gay dudes blowing each other off. I was fucking traumatized. Fuck all that. So I split. Again, fuck you gay mother fuckers you disgust me…

  34. Simple Simon says

    I am not an eloquent speaker and surely not as half smart as most gay, but using the common sense that was given to me I know a man marrying to a man and calling him his wife or a woman marrying a woman and calling her , her wife is an insult to my common sense.
    We have lots of issues in this world men wanting to have more than one woman- should it accepted
    2. Women wants to have more than one man – should it be accepted
    3. Kids want to have sex. Should the law stop them.

    • Anonymous says

      The reason gay people want to get married is because straight people can. So if someone wants to marry a dog because gays can get married, don’t blame the gays. Blame the straights. It started with them.

    • iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

      So it’s good that a man can drunkenly marry a woman he has known for five minutes and divorce the next day, but a man who has been in a 30-year relationship of love and commitment with another man shouldn’t be able to get married? Your common sense sucks, asshole.

  35. gman says

    I am appalled at how many morons took this site seriously ! The fact that they don’t recognize parody,satire or sarcasm says so much about the culture in which they live. Oddly I think more gays took it seriously than straights.

    • iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

      Oh, haha. Shut the fuck up. Like you’re going through such suffering. You have no idea how hard it is, ok? So stop sitting here complaining on A LESBIAN WEBSITE!

  36. Anonymous says

    the only problem with gay and lesbians is they have parades and go down the street marching, announcing that they are gay and proud. Heterosexuals do not march down the street in straight parades, marching and announcing they are straight and proud. If they would just act like the rest of society instead of trying to stand out it would probably be unacceptable or an issue. Shut your mouths about liking the same sex and just be.

    • You're kidding, right? says

      The only reason that homosexuals have parades and “flaunt” their sexuality is because they are outcasted. Gays aren’t allowed to “just be” because society won’t let them. They are constantly ridiculed and tormented, yet now you say that they can’t be proud of who they are. Parades celebrate things all of the time so homosexuals should be allowed to celebrate who they are. If heterosexuals would stop being so god damn judgmental, then maybe they wouldn’t have to be marching down the streets trying to feel accepted.

      P.s. They aren’t pathetic. Watch the vocabulary terms that you use toward a large group of people.

      P.s.s. I’m straight and protecting my fellow citizens from criticism from people like you.

    • hi says

      this is just the phase where they are accepted and in a decade or two it can stop because it will be accepted already. kinda like the African american movement (not that it is something that is over)

  37. Cat says

    How can people not understand that this is sarcasm?
    And before you guys go shoving your religion down other people’s throats, please remember that MAYBE EVERYBODY DOESN’T FOLLOW THE SAME IDEALS AS YOU DO.

  38. divyanka says

    I don’t think ppl get this article. it is SARCASTIC. The author said ‘haven’t adapted to cars’. What, humans haven’t adapted to cars for however many hundreds of years it has existed for? IT’S SARCASM, THE AUTHOR IS SHOWING THE WORLD HOW BASTARDLY PEOPLE WHO THINK ‘GAYNESS’ IS WRONG ARE.

  39. divyanka says

    so for those people saying ‘god says gay is wrong’, I just watned to say you are nothing but bastards. oh, so ‘marrying the same ‘gender” is wrong, but getting naked and suddenly taking off your underwear and other clothes in front of a random person of the OPPOSITE gender is okay? You live with your mom, dad, and siblings and don’t take your clothes off in front of them. then you marry to this OPPOSITE GENDER person, and strip? That’s okay? Taking off your bra is fine so a guy can look at it? bastard?

  40. Anonymous says

    If homosexuality is unnatural then why do animals have homosexual tendencies, why would god allow it for so long? Doesn’t the bible teach to love thy neighbor? Or is this world filled with homophobic hypocrites. You guys are only scared of this ‘affliction’ because you cannot control it. The church tried, whole countries tried but homosexuality is natural and so long as people exist so will homosexuality. In my opinion I believe that it’s natures way of population control. Be more accepting of the future or be left in the past.

      • Hannah says

        I’m tired of this. I am sick of people saying that. I am done with keeping quiet.
        “If a man lies with a man, as he lies with a woman, both have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.” Leviticus 20:13

        “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inheret the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

        I am AGAINST homosexuality! I am PROUD to be against it. I do NOT hate homosexuals, but they are highly irritating when they protest, riot, and march around town all high and mighty, as if they are bringing some huge revolution. I am annoyed by crossdressers. I have a bi friend, and he has a boyfriend. I don’t hate him, I just DISAGREE! These retarded gays are trying to turn our wonderful country into something sick and twisted. It should be ILLEGAL to be gay! The idiots claim they are not treated fairly, yet they are. I don’t care who hears, I say gays are wrong.

        • curlygurly says

          Thats cause youre religious. Put some brain in that skull. Majority of homosexuals dont believe in God. We are wrong? Wrong about what? Love? Love is love. You must have never experienced it cause you were tok busy quoting a book written over 2000 years ago.

          • Anonymous says

            What, so people who believe in God are unintelligent? I’m a Christian, I believe homosexuality is wrong, but I don’t hate people who choose to be gay. The Bible says to hate the sin and not the sinner. I know I’ve committed a few sins in my day, so I have no room to talk when it comes to “throwing stones” at people for their sins. Like I said, I don’t like homosexuality, but gay people are still people with hopes, feelings, fears and emotions.
            Even after saying all that, I also think that its a laugh that I get chewed out for saying my opinion and automatically labeled because of my beliefs. I’m a Christian. I’m intelligent, funny, caring, and sweet. I have my flaws just like everyone else. I am not at all perfect.

        • Anonymous says

          Yep the same person who wrote that in the Bible also tells us how to treat our slaves…. I don’t know about you but I don’t have any slaves running around my property… If you are going to live your life by the Bible, then don’t pick and choose what you are going to follow, because I am led to believe that if your son even came home drunk, you would take him to town to be stoned to death. Isn’t murder a sin???

        • iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

          Well, Hannah, I don’t give a shit. DYKE AND PROUD! I also am an athiest and so the bible is another thing i don’t give a shit about. Go fuck yourself.

        • Loves God AND Girls says

          Hi Hannah. It’s cool that you don’t hate gay people. But I don’t know how you can have a bi friend and think being gay should be illegal. How do you not hate us while believing that we should go to jail? That statement sounded hateful but you may not have meant it that way. Jesus said: “Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.” That is what we are supposed to do – and putting someone in jail for something they did not choose does not sound loving. Also posting a message about wanting us jailed on a lesbian site does not sound loving either. But that’s just my opinion.
          From my personal experience – being gay is not a choice. I am not attacking you. I am just sharing my experience. I am a female Christian who loves God and happens to like girls and after years of sadness, anxiety and fear I have come to believe God made me this way and that He love me and has a plan or my life. Please remember that LGBT people have feelings to.

          Anonymous, remember there are LGBT Christians

          • Loves God AND Girls says

            I posted that too soon. I just wanted to say something to the Anon person that said we “label you for your beliefs.” First of all there are LGBT Christians (who would not label you for your beliefs.) Second, you are generalizing. There are really awesome gay people who don’t judge you. Third if you are nice and loving, show respect (and think before you speak) any LGBT person (Christian or not) would show respect to you. <3

    • Hannah says

      Animals do not have homosexual tendencies. You are not an animal, how would you tell? Animals do not exhibit homophobia, because animals are homosexual.
      God allows people to be gay, because He created us with a CHOICE. We have a choice to do what we want, and you don’t even have any scientific evidence to PROVE that being gay is forced! You are a misinformed, pathetic idiot.

      • Hannah says

        Animals are not homosexual*

        And FYI, it is scientifically proven that, after puberty, EVERYONE becomes attracted to the OPPOSITE sex.

        • iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

          ummm, hannah? no it isn’t. cite your sources, honey. going by your science, i am a freak of nature :) cause trust me, i am not attracted to dudes. at all. sorry, love. better luck next time! (I also suggest taking a science class)

  41. SeriouslySpeaking says

    and with so many Lesbians that are out there these days, how in the world can us Straight Guys ever meet a good woman now?

  42. SeriouslySpeaking says

    without a doubt it is wrong, and why in the world would it be normal to begin with? of course not.

  43. Lane says

    I sincerely enjoy the fact that people took the time to read this entire thing but didn’t take the time to understand the intro.

    • anynomous says

      Some people think being gay is a choice, but who would choose a life of hidding and being alone and scared. I decided one day to come out of the closet thinking i would be accepted and find someone so i wouldnt be so lonely. It turns out i am now rejected by my friends disowned by my parents. And now im more alone than before amd now no one cares. The only reson why i dont die is hope that one day i can get married to the guy i love and be happy . Without that hope i would have nothing

        • Anonymous says

          We all made our choices, you chose to be straight, he chose to be gay. All gays are idiotic? Excuse me, are you saying that the people bellow are idiotic? When they all are more successful and smarter than you? Maybe it’s time to shut your mouth up.
          Some of these are not confirmed, due to the discrimination (or even violence) they would have experienced if they had come out as gay. However, there is AMPLE evidence that they were gay or bisexual

          –W.H. Auden, poet
          –Michaelangelo, artist
          –Leonardo da Vinci
          –Simone de Beauvoir, author
          –Cyrano de Bergerac, dramatist
          –Lord Byron, poet
          –Elizabeth Bishop, author; Poet Laureate of the US; Pulitzer Prize winner
          –William Burroughs, author
          –Caravaggio, artist
          –Willa Cather, author; Pulitzer Prize winner
          –Hart Crane, poet
          –Quentin Crisp, author
          –Ralph Waldo Emerson, author, naturalist, philsopher
          –E.M. Worster, author
          –Lorenz Hart, Broadway lyricist
          –Frida Kahlo, artist
          –Wilfred Owen, poet
          –Andy Warhol, artist
          –Tennessee Williams, playwright
          –William Armstrong Percy III, writer, historian
          –Walt Whitman, author
          –Herb Ritts, photographer
          –Christopher Marlowe, playwright
          –Alexander the Great
          –Frederick the Great
          –Saladin
          –Erasumus, philosopher
          –Thornton Wilder, playwright
          –Virginia Woolf, author
          –Marquid de Sade, author
          –Sappho, ancient poet
          –Siegfried Sassoon, author
          –Gertrude Stein, author
          –Pyotr Tchaikovsky, classical composer

        • iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

          Poor Hannah. Don’t you have anything better to do than be a bitch? Look, you’re on a dyke site. We don’t give a fuck that you hate us. I HEART GIRLS!

      • you're right , says

        Marriage is between man and woman .
        Nobody telling you not to be a gay , but stay away of marriage and children . Don’t show stupidity on the street ( demonstrations ) Behave like normal person -gay .
        Keep your personality to yourself . I do know few of them .
        Their are very nice , quiet , clean people .

      • anonymous says

        all I can say is I’m sorry for u. I wish people wud have been more supportive of u. loneliness is the worst thing in the world.

    • The Better Truth says

      Really? Says who? Where is that rule written? When you can show me a rule written, that isn’t in a religious text, I will break up with my girlfriend.
      P.s. I am a girl

      • The reality says

        I need to break something to all gays if your so posed to be together you could have kids

        P.S.everyone who are equalists are insulting themselves by saying they would resort to being gay if being strait doesn’t work out

        Equalists=IDIOTS/hipicrits

        • iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

          The reality- I need to break something to you if your so posed to be on this website you would be a lesbian

          P.S. you need to learn how to spell, asshole

  44. Mislav383 says

    This is the most homophobic idiocy I’ve ever seen
    > Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
    Oh really?Then if you hate stuff that’s not natural how come there are so many american pornstars with plastic tits.They aren’t natural either.
    >Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
    People cannot become gay if they are straight,neither can straight people become gay,idiots.
    >Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
    So you’re comparing an animal to a human?Seems legit.
    >Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all. Women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
    Straight marriage is full of sexist jerks who beat their wives.I’m not a feminist,but are you implying that we shouldn’t change female abuse?
    >Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour-just-for-fun and Kim Kardashian’s 72-day-highly-profitable marriage would be destroyed.
    Britney and Kim are both sluts,I don’t like them,moving on
    >Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
    Oh really?If we need more children how come China is so filled having two kids is illegal?
    >Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
    This is probably the biggest fail in the whole article.How do you think gay people come to the earth?Falling from the sky?I am gay myself and I have straight parents.Do you think I fell from the sky so I’m gay?The sex of your parents doesn’t determine your sexuality,moron.
    >Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
    There are more religions in North America.In case you’re talking about the U.S.A. you should write it like that.Also this is the internet and do you think it cares about religion?Hmm…NO!
    >Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressively forbid single parents to raise children.
    Oh really?Then how come some people raise kids without a partner?Honestly,you are an idiot.There are straight marriages in which the role models are smokers,drug addicts,or alcoholics.Is your theory still correct?
    >Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. We could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the downfall economy, or longer life spans.
    I don’t know about you people,but I addapted to the today’s world pretty well.It’s your problem you cannot adapt to gay people.They have always existed,and they always will exist.
    tl;dr Your “Society” is made of a mass of homophobic bigots who got brainwashed by your local church when you were a kid.
    Society sucks it thinks it can make “idealistic beauty”.Well guess what.It doesn’t exist!
    Get used to having gay people around you fucking pussies,what ever have you been smoking while writing this must have been very good.
    Get a life,homophobes.

    • The Truth says

      By your reply I can tell u really dont belive in god. God made man and women being gay is wrong in the eyes of god, so tell me are u calling god a lier

      • WhiteRice says

        If God exist, he created him to be gay, and if he doesn’t deny what god made him to be he will burn in the very hell god created. What would the problem be in not believing in a deity to begin with? Your religion is a justification to oppress. Granit I know Christians who have set a much higher example than you have. Oppression due to religious justification has gone on for centuries. You don’t like them faggots because God doesn’t like them. I own a slave because God said I could. I can abuse my wife because god said I could. They are better Christians than you, in my book, but I’m a gay lover ain’t I, can’t listen to me, like you can’t listen to no niger lovers.

    • Anonymous says

      You know in the intro he was like if u don’t get sarcasm go get a dictionary cuz obviously gay people don’t make gay children or a man and woman should rasie a child that’s why there no one parent taking care of a kid…dude this whole thing was the opposit of what he wrote! don’t get mad! Read the intro next time.

    • iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

      This was satire. I appreciate your support, though! But your complaints would be better off on an actual homophobic article.

  45. bc-44 says

    This is SATIRE, @75_Lewis. You DO know that, don’t you?

    Because there ARE ignorant people who DO think this way (Michele Bachmann is just one), it is great to poke holes in their theories. (That’s why people like her have so many holes in their heads!)

  46. Xaviersx says

    Great Top 10, should be shared with all, so that some can see they stand in glass houses or plainly, self serving prejudices.

  47. Lyndis Stranger says

    Bisexuals are awesome. They just double up their chance in finding true love! Homosexuals are awesome. They love people who are of their same sex! That is some serious love!
    If the world’s fucked up is because of bigots, nothing to do with homosexuality. WEEEEEE!

    • Amber says

      It is a joke article, being sarcastic and making fun of the points that ani-gay marriage people make, hence the…
      [UPDATE] WARNING: This article includes strong cases of satire and sarcasm. If you do not understand those two concepts, do not continue reading and go purchase a dictionary immediately.
      … at the beginning

      And although I wouldn’t use the exact same words I agree with you on this matter

      • Anna says

        Hold on now, not ALL Christians are like this. For instance, I am Catholic and I am perfectly okay with gays. In fact, I know a few.

    • sahaam says

      how dear you say that to us Christians! It is true! gay marriage is wrong. If gay marriage was meant to be then they would be able to produce babies which they cant coz they are gay! Also if we legalised gay marriage then we might as well legalise people marrying animals because its “equal rights” you just dont make sense! and marriage is a christian thing!

      • Glee says

        Why is wrong with you so let’s just say a woman in a marriage is inane to have children does that make the Marriage wrong then? Being gay is not something people choose. If you don’t want the Christian faith to be judged then you need to smarten up and realize people are allowed to make the choices they want and you don’t need to like them but you have to respect them

      • Anonymous says

        You no good sons of bitch ass Christians should leave the gays alone because it is a natural thing because 67% of all species known on earth can be gay I know this because I looked it up and my dogs gay

        • Anonymous says

          Um…I’m Christian and catholic idk both i guess idk but I’m alright with gays and lesbians so…yea Dont be hating on everybody if u don’t even know if all Christians are ok?

        • you're right , says

          I’m more than sure their will if ( some of them) behave properly .
          Few friends of mine -gays their are very nice , hard working people .
          But your language is disgusting .
          Keep your mouth shut .

      • Anonymous says

        Since when was religion suppose to rule over a government decision? Have you heard of separation of church and state? Just because you believe homosexuality is wrong because your imaginative figure of a higher power says so does not mean the government will just say no. I am a proud lesbian and non religious. At least the person I live my life with isn’t controlling my decisions and fake.

      • Anonymous says

        If allowing people to marry animals is equal rights, wouldn’t that mean you’re saying animals and people are equal? Because I’m pretty sure that Genesis does not agree. By the way, I’m Catholic, lesbian, and proud. God made everyone exactly how they are, and He doesn’t make mistakes.

      • iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

        Please take English class to learn how to spell. Also, what if a man and a woman were infertile? Should they not be allowed to get married? And of course a gay couple can have children. It’s called adopting/sperm/egg donors, assholes. Stop using your religion as an excuse to hate. Also, marriage is NOT ONLY FOR CHRISTIANS. IT’S FOR PEOPLE WHO LOVE EACH OTHER. THAT’S ALL.

      • Anonymous says

        Maybe producing babies was wrong maybe we were sopposed to have aliens but somebody fucked it up down the road… Now get your religion out of a thread

  48. Mohimi says

    I love you soooo much Slush…
    I was scared to read this at first because of it’s title and I got immediately offended but I did it anyways and I failed to keep myself from bursting out in laughter at 7, OMG.

    Tbh, you’re a really cute/hot tomboy ;) Making me wish I was born earlier… >:cccc

  49. Anonymous says

    I totally agree there all bullshit apart from number 8 because gayness is against catholic religion which is stupid, this guy should be banned.
    Being Gay Is Normal.

    • Vow says

      Am I the only one that see how gay girls are cool around guys and gay guys are cool around girls.
      It’s crazy how they get along well. lmao

      Im guy nd very cool around girls ;) chaching xD

  50. AP says

    Absolutely hilarious- thank you Slush! I am not sure what was more funny- the article itself or those that were all fired up that you were serious about what you had written.

    I am also curious what some of the clearly anti-gay remarks (the ones in the comment section that were not sarcasm) how the writters of those ended up on a pro-gay lesbian site. Hmmmmm.

    Keep it coming Slush:)!

      • justasking says

        And where do you get your definition of love? Is it defined by your belief system and if so what gives your belief system authority, proof and foundation in this universe. Show me where your morals come from. Show me that the roots of your moral code won’t have any negative consequences. That living by your moral code you have never hurt anyone or made any mistakes. I personally don’t have a constitution that I live by. I find the logic behind gay rights just as illogical as the religious arguments against it. How can I live in a world where everyone thinks they are right. I personally feel like we should all be open to the possibility that we may be wrong because human perception has never been flawless. Too many people in this culture avoid dialogue and society is based on solidarity which can only be possible through communication. And communication can only be possible through understanding one another. I believe we learn through questioning one another but people are very arrogant and assume we are all just supposed to know certain things to be true without question. I believe in questioning everything and everyone until I find answers. If you’re lost ask for directions. Well I’m lost in life, this universe and my own existence.

    • Alyssa Phillips says

      Haha I laughed so hard hahahaha I love your posts and you’ve taught me soo much but I have a problem I like this one girl and she hangs on me at school and loves on me and everyone says she talked about me all the time but I am too shy to ask her out she does have a boyfriend and I really like her I just don’t know how to tell her that I like her please tell me how to approach the situation

  51. Love is patient Love is kind says

    <3 This is hilarious. The comments are even funnier! Haha Im a christian who fully supports gay marriage and the rights along with it. Honestly though, the bible was written over 350 hundred years ago. It could have been misinterpreted. Words twisted or added or mistranslated, ya know? Its definitely possible. I mean why would God be against it? Saying you love gay people but dot support gay marriage is much like jumping back in time and saying you love black people but dont support their freedom. Its silly to me. "Its human rights for everyone, there is no difference" – Mackelmore. It should be legal everywhere because its not a matter of opinion and debate. Its a simple matter of right and wrong. Love is love, its a beautiful thing and certainly should not be restricted. <3

  52. anon says

    ‘since straight parents only raise straight children.’
    so i’m gay yet my parents are straight, right ok
    your argument is so invalid its unreal

      • Jay says

        Dear Paul,
        I’m sorry you hate so much. Are you this way in person or only when you can hide behind a computer screen? I’m guessing the latter, just like 95% of the ranters trolling the internet. You say, “You dont want someone pushing you up against a wall and takeing ur rights away…but you try to change what is”, Some might call that progression. Clearly a gay man cuts your hair, so is this why your so angry? I’m sure he’ll give a refund if you weren’t happy with the cut. You also seem to enjoy reading articles about gay issues. Hmmmm…….didn’t I see you at last years pride parade wrapped in a colorful flag?

    • M says

      I agree with anon. Just because a child is raised by 2 straight parents doesnt mean the child would be straight. OH and it doesnt always mean if 2 gay people raise a kid doesnt mean there kid will be gay.

      Personal Opinon:
      I believe we should be with someone we love. We cant help who we fall in love with.

  53. Classics Major says

    I Corinthians 6:9 (NKJV)
    Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites,

    it’s fine if you don’t believe in religious practices, however, the fact that you don’t believe in something doesn’t diminish its value.

    Did you know that Greek and Roman empires were known for their polytheistic and openly gay practices? I’m sure that they would love to stand up for this movement if they still existed. Once you start putting all your money into entertainment and “keeping people happy” and lose sight of important things such as children and the fact that they get to live with the crap we leave behind, that’s when your society starts to crumble. it’s a proven occurrence demonstrated throughout history that when politicians become focused on maintaining their power instead of the welfare of the people that rely on them (and i’m talking about the people who have college educations and can’t afford to feed their children because of the fact that congress can’t make a decision about the federal budget) then the fact that they are so power driven is what keeps them from deserving the power they live for. this shouldn’t be the reigning issue of today, marriage should remain “man and wife” and if you want to live with someone of your same sex, do it. there doesn’t need to be law about it if you already have the freedom to partake in it.

    • fin says

      your ABSOLUTELY correct,there doesnt need to be a law about it!!! so WHY IS THERE A LAW ABOUT IT? and furthermore there is a law about it that YOU are fighting for. it is illegal to marry someone of the same sex,yet u JUST said there shouldnt be a law about it…pro gay marriage people want to MAKE NO LAWS about,YOU do.YOU people are all the same,hypocricy at its finest.. i thought conservatives want “small” government? then please tell me why u want big government and the nanny state telling people who they are and arent allowed to legally marry?

      • Anon says

        Let me say this up front…I AM for gay rights but NOT gay marriage. You are probably thinking i’m crazy right now but you should hear me out. I do not think homosexuality is a choice and think they have the right to remain together with the same rights as married people but DONT call it marriage. Marriage is DEFINED between a man and a woman. Here is my point…

        Why are gay couples so desperate to have it called marriage? Now here is an idea. Give them ALL the rights married people have but just call their union something else. I think that is a fair compromise

        p.s. personally I think the government should focus on other more important issues like the HUGE FEDERAL DEBT or the terrible job market out there but hey that’s just one guys opinion

        • Anonymous says

          Just wondering where you got your definition of marriage from…. was it the bible or the Vatican? Because the last time I looked marriage is not defined by sex.. its defined by love.. and the reason pple want it to be marriage and not civil union is because legally they are two completely different things. Marriage is binding, unions are not… ESP when u go to a state that does not recognize it. Imagine how pissed u would be if ur hubby were in an accident out of ur state and u couldn’t go see him because ” your not technically married”. Just saying.

          • Anonymous says

            i completely agree! this is one of the bet statements for gay marriage iv’e seen in a while

          • Anon says

            Look up the definition online or in a dictionary. That is what it says and I do not negotiate definitions. For example, I cant just say my bed is a taco and change the definition because it suddenly means something differently to me. It was always a bed and always will be a bed. Its a bad example I know but Im keeping religion out of it because no one wins there because people have different religious beliefs.

            AND if you give unions the same rights as marriages they ARE binding so my compromise is still valid (remember I said same rights as married men and women). There just shouldnt be a NEED to have it be called marriage. This argument is really about GAY RIGHTS and I really hope people focus on that. Im sure the gay rights movement will go farther than the gay marriage movement due to the fact a lot of America is more sympathetic to movements for peoples rights (civil rights movement, about 1960s or so) rather than changing fundamentals of their everyday life. I do hope they get the same rights one day…

          • John says

            I have to agree with anonymous here. sorry i got curious and looked it up and it does say man and a woman. some might not agree with the definition but what he says is true. look i just want equality and i dont really care how we get there but i just want it to happen. make whatever compromises you need to make. I just want people to be equal. i dont know a lot about politics but i have my beliefs

          • Jay says

            Anon,
            Sorry to break the news to you, but definitions can and absolutely do change over time. For instance the word…wait for it…”gay”!!! Oh, and we’ve all heard that loose argument about definitions before. It’s simply splitting hairs.

            Those of you who don’t understand why gay marriage is important, it’s because gay couples are not granted the same legal rights as their straight married counterparts.

            Examples:
            A lot of states will not allow any one other than a family member to visit them in the hospital. Supposedly, there has been a federal law passed prohibiting this, but it just happened not long ago to a man and his partner. His partner got rushed to the hospital and died while he argued with the nurse about his rights to see him. He was able to sue and he won, but at what cost. He never got to say his goodbyes and his partner died alone.

            There’s the story of the couple in Florida that were both on the police force. One got shot and died. Even though they were together for over 20 years, the surviving partner lost her home and many possessions to her partners Mother and Sister, since they were next of kin.

            How about when one person in the relationship passes away and the kids go to next of kin or foster care, before they are ever considered staying with the other parent that raised them.

            These are just a few examples out of many. This is about equality and the denial of peoples rights based solely on ignorant views of intolerant people. How does gay marriage affect anybody, other than the couple wanting to get married. It’s certainly okay to hook up with some hooker in Vegas and marry at a 24hr chapel barely holding their liquor, but not for gay folks. Do straight people even realize that if people were treated equally, parades and campaigns for equality would not need to exist?

            One more thing. If I can’t vote on your marriage, why the hell do you get the right to vote on mine???

        • justasking says

          And where do you get your definition of love? Is defined by your belief system if so what gives your belief system authority. Show me where your morals come from. Show me that the roots of your moral code won’t have any consequences. That living by your moral code you have never hurt anyone or made any mistakes.

        • iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

          BECAUSE WE WANT TO FUCKING GET MARRIED, JUST LIKE YOU. ASSHOLE. WE WANT OUR SAME RIGHTS. I want to have a wedding. I want to watch my wife walk down the aisle. I want to say, “I do.” I want to wear a white dress and kiss a woman in a white dress who I love. I want to get married on the beach with family and friends clapping. I want a honeymoon. I want my equal rights to love.

  54. MySelf says

    I have read the article and I love it, and I read the comments love how people truly believe that gay parents raise gay kids, my mother is heterosexual and I am a lesbian and while no we can’t reproduce as a man and woman can we should be allowed to adopt because there are so many children in this country who need good loving homes with 2 people who will love them. Isn’t that what god truly wants for us all? I am now and have always been very open minded and while in some peoples eyes my “Marriage” is not legal, I am married to the love of my life. I agree everyone has their own opinion and that is what makes this country great, but some people have NO right to tell a 12 year old that they hope they turn out gay and that their family hates them. I am sorry that is just wrong no Christian person no TRUE Christian would ever say that. Thank you to Slush for having this website for us and others.

    • JF says

      @Myself……but God’s law is marriage between a man and a woman, not of the same sex. Gay sex and gay marriage is an abomination period!!!

      • MySelf says

        If we are such an abomination then let us be. That is all we want to just be left to live and love. Being gay isn’t a choice, we don’t choose to be hated, we would not choose this by any means. No one would choose this seriously. We want to be able to walk down a street and hold the one we loves hand. God made everyone in his own image PERIOD. Therefore god made us all as he saw fit.

      • Anonymous says

        … your assuming that Your god is the same as my god. Ignorance is bliss but arrogance is hurtful to all, including your children. Open your mind to the fact that not every person believes in this one deity you’re devoted to. And realize that while you may have your opinion, its just that. And regardless what you say, it won’t change everyone. At some point you have to grow up and realize that not all people agree and it really is okay for you ( and your beliefs) to be WRONG.

        • SK8 says

          I agree with you about opening your mind but let him be childish. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Personally I do not agree with them but it does not make him wrong

      • Jay says

        If it is to you, then I suggest not marrying the same sex. Looky there! I just solved you personal dilemma.

      • iheartgirlswhoheartgirls says

        HEY I HAVE AN IDEA! IF YOU DON’T SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE THAN DON’T GET GAY-MARRIED!

        What will happen if gay marriage is legalized:
        -The world will come to an end-NO
        -We will take over the world-NO
        -It will affect you at all-NO
        -Gays will get married-YES

  55. Sarcasm people! Look it up! says

    Try watching a heterosexual porno without anal penetration… It’s not just gay guys doing it

  56. Evie says

    I love this!!! I’ve been sharing it on FB and twice may I add. Thank you so much for putting things into perspective and bringing up some good questions to be asked ^__^

  57. What's my name? I don't know, do you? says

    “4. Marraige Isn’t Open To Change”
    Typo? xD
    Other than that, LOVE THE ARTICLE hahaha!

  58. Sarcasm people! Look it up! says

    I loved this and reading the comments made me laugh even more. Number 5 was my favourite. If marriage is so cherished than why let drunken people get married on a whim in Vegas? Great read! :)

  59. Molly says

    Your post absolutely made my day. Religion isn’t a part of this topic. It’s a topic of basic human RIGHTS, not about whether your religion agrees or disagrees. People keep on making the issue about themselves(religiously) this is a topic not about your opinion it’s about giving people basic HUMAN RIGHTS. I really wish we could all just learn to love each other, no one is better than anyone else so cut the crap and lets just love. We were always taught to love each and every single person, lets start doing that. Again thanks for your post, and have a lovely day :)

    • Suzy's says

      “Dumb unintelligent asshole”. Which parent is better “there” mom or “there” dad. Clearly you are a very educated person who doesn’t value clean speaking or grammar. And I believe Bitch is spelt with a T not an R in it.
      I believe everyone has a right to their opinion and should not be disrespected with foul language for it.

  60. Anonymous says

    plus my mum died when i was a toddler and i turned out fine with my dad bringing me up along with my 6 other half brothers and sisters

  61. Anonymous says

    what the hell is wrong with all you people! i am 12 and one of my best friends is gay and is one of the funniest and nicest people i have ever met! im sorry but if you think there is a devil in one of my best friends then you need to change your attitude cos people will not like it. they are the same as everyone else and you need to realise that. its still real love isnt it! you cant change the way you feel even if you really try. the world is changing. deal with it

    • says

      I applaud you for defending your best friend and equal rights for all. I’m not sure at what grade level they teach “sarcasm,” but if you were to re-read the article, you would notice that we are actually making fun of those who are against gay marriage. Thanks for your support!

    • Vanessa says

      Anonymous, I see you are young and that you are supporting a friend. That I find very heroic in a young person in a time when bullying someone’s peers is more acceptable then sharing kindeness, support and love. Thank you for standing up. As SLUSH replied to you above, the article is sarcasm/satire. In this case, the writer is using the other sides (the religious groups that DO NOT support glbt rights) own arguments against them. For example the comment “3. It Will Lead To Other Crazy Behavior Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.” is utterly rediculous to say that gay marriage will lead to people marrying animals and the writer is saying that through sarcasm.
      As I said earlier, I, personally appreciate that you are defending a friend. I wish I had one like you when I was a kid. Thanks again for being there for your friend.
      Vanessa

      • Shmliz says

        Actually, I think this wonderful anonymous child is directing this to “mz.you crazy” a few comments down, where he/she mentions something about how they don’t hate gay people, but the demons inside of us.

    • You are a jackass says

      YOU must not have God in your life you stupid insignificant fuck. Thou shall not judge others lest ye be judged sound familiar dumbass?? It’s people like you that are ruining the country with your intolerance to everyone and everything. Go back to your hole and die.

  62. anonymous says

    So, I found this pretty darn funny for someone who doesnt necessarily like the idea of gay people. I don’t think it’s quite right to be honest, for religious and other reasons. But I still think that we are called to love everyone, no matter what they do, how they were born, or how they think. I have nothing against gay people, I may not like it, but who am I to judge, hurt, or discriminate against them? I make bad decisions and i lie, same as everyone else.

    • mz.you crazy says

      AMEN finally somebody understands am not here to judge ethier but i dis like when peaple say the so holy and talking about they in love with gay people like i said people are people but all people are not good for some people i mean i dont dis lke you i just dis like the demons thats in you so i just pray for everybody i can think of and i pray that they turn this GAY religious DEVIL back in the pits of HELL were it belongs in jesus name AMEN

      • AnotherGirlDFTBA says

        Being LGBT isn’t a religion… I’m sorry that is just too funny. There is no “Gay/Lesbian God” that people worship, there aren’t “Gay Churches” or “Lesbian Churches”. And “I’m not here to judge…. but all people are not good.” Those two statements contradict each other. Just Sayin’.
        And for you to say that EVERY SINGLE PERSON who is LGBT has a demon in them… Wow that demon must get around a lot. Probably goes to lots of parties..

      • Adam says

        I seriously hope you’re trolling mz.you… otherwise, let the trolling begin.

        First and foremost, it’s really hard to understand a word of what your saying without the use of punctuation.

        Second, where in any popular version of the bible does it say that gay people have a demon in them? Reference please…

        Third, you can’t say that you are not here to judge when you feel like you can judge that others have demons in them that need releasing. It’s just like me saying your ignorance is a devil that I can somehow pray away. I AM JUDGING YOU.

        Fourth, and this requires imagination, is a question I’d like you to ask yourself. If a man is sticking his penis into another willing man’s ass (and it’s happening right now all over the world), does it make a bit of difference as you soap your genitals in the shower?

        Last, and I’m not religious in the least, I put it to you that there are ‘demons’ in all of us and the hell you want to send “GAY religious DEVIL”s would resemble your dinner table.

        • Not telling... says

          So you must be gay? Is this why you’re so damn upset. Obviously you haven’t read the bible. Man shall not marry man. It is indeed a sin. Look it up. As for there being a demon inside of gays, there happens to be a demon within us all. Why else do we drink, do drugs or make any sort of bad decisions? I happen to be okay with gays. I don’t particularly follow a religion, so just because it’s in the bible, doesn’t mean I fully care. If God loves his children, he would love them for who they are, and if God was who created us, why would be create the Gay gene if it is so awful? The only gays that bother me are the ones who go out of their way to talk like morons, an octive higher and the ones who have to wear tight ugly hipster jeans to show off how stupidly skinny they are. You can still be a fucking man, with a normal persons voice and be a gay person.

          • Vanessa says

            That is their normal and it’s not your job to judge it or them. I have read the bible and yes it says don’t lay with man, but it also says though shall not shave, steal, lie, commit adultary, murder, or lie with unclean women (you are literally not allowed to be in the same room as a women when she is on her monthly). Yes EVERYONE has demons, but that is NOT what the previous writer posted. The post that was referred to said specifically and poorly I might add that “i dont dis lke you i just dis like the demons thats in you” thus his understandbly angry response of “Second, where in any popular version of the bible does it say that gay people have a demon in them? Reference please…” Your assumption that the poster is gay by his response is as rediclous as gey peole mean gey children.

          • GBW says

            So the bible says a man shouldn’t marry a man… So women can marry marry women?! Awesome! And I see more straight men wearing ugly skinny jeans than gay men..

          • Emily says

            @Not telling…
            There are also heterosexuals who “go out of their ways to act like morons” and “the ones who have to wear tight ugly hipster jeans to show off how stupidly skinny they are”…
            And “gay gene”? Really?
            Is there even ever such a thing called a “straight gene” that you have to learn in school?

      • Wow... Just wow says

        First if all, you must be very uneducated to be typing like that and it doesn’t aid your already incredibly stupid argument in any way, shape, or form. There are no demons inside of people making them gay. Gay people are just regulate people. Over half of my friends are LGBT and they are all definitely nicer than my straight friends because they have faced so much ridicule. If there is a god who made people he wouldn’t hate what he created and I really doubt he would send someone to hell for finding their true love. I mean gay people show no signs of what people associate with possession and are perfectly normal humans. I am glad you say you don’t hate gay people, but seriously this was just a ridiculously comment.

  63. CK says

    That is ridiculous. The entire argument is flawed. First of all, any argument that brings up something like religion is going to fail immediately because there are too many religions to say one is right. In fact, none of them make any logical scientific sense. Faith in a religion is just making a virtue of how many fantasies a person can believe. It is making a virtue of not thinking.

    Secondly, I am not from Alabama, so I don’t not vote in Alabama. Why? I don’t live in Alabama, or Kentucky, or New York, or California. So I can’t vote in those places. How can people who are not part of the gay community have any say in what happens in the gay community? In that case, lets just start petitioning for Americans to vote in Cuba, or in Haiti.

    • Brai says

      People who aren’t n the community choose not to be. There is an A in the letters for Ally, meaning anyone who is for the equal rights of everyone who identifies as gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered/ect. Everyone in America has a say in what happens in America, maybe not in each individual state but in the country as a whole. That is what our ancestors fought for. And that is what the Constitution stands for. We are still known as the Country of the Free.

  64. Brai says

    Hey Slush,
    Just came across this. I really thought you were serious when I saw the title. I’ve just recently come on this site but have come to learn how cool, proud and pro lgbt you are so I thought what the heck, may be an interesting read. I was right! It is hilarious! I’m so glad you can put a funny twist on a very hot and controversial issue and you found a very tasteful way to do it. I’ve read through the comments and I need to add Many Christians love to preach how much homosexuality is wrong, but I am also a Christian and I am a Lesbian and a damn proud Lesbian! That feels so good to say, I’m new to this, and Jesus teaches love not hate so these so called Christians aren’t following the Bible themselves. Before they condemn us they need to look at themselves

    • says

      Hi Brai – thank you for your comment. I’m so glad to have you here! All I’ve got to say is… as a Christian and as a lesbian… you’re doing it right! Keep rocking it :)

  65. semi-metrosexual says

    I’m Christian and straight. While same-sex marriage may sound a little awkward to me at times, I really don’t think that the government should tell people who they can and can’t settle down with. If a gay couple moved in next door, it wouldn’t bother me, whether 2 males or 2 females. If they had kids, I’d let my kids play with theirs.

    Although there may be some vocal activists out there who have a lot of free time campaign against gay marriage, most people you meet probably are not interested in keeping you from marrying your same-sex partner. Besides, it seems like this generation of str8 people is hardly mature enough to handle marital commitment anyway when U look at the divorce rates in the western world!

    • mz.you crazy says

      i cant belive that you would call your self a christen and sooHOLY this is why people are so confused about christ somebody need to teach you real christenanty man i dislike when people misuse GODS relgion god made man and woman to have sex not woman and woman and man and man and how are they going to have kids if the are gay they cant make a baby if a man sperm dont touch a womans egg and man cant make a baby with a nother man because a men are not made with eggs. holy and save people dont gree with unGODLY this i thought you knew that since yo soo SAVED AND HOLY i come against people like you and i will keep you in my prayers because somebody then told you wrong religon. because the GOD that i serve dont like man &man and women &woman having sex togather he said with his own mouth i made man and woman to be fruitful and mulitiplied not man &man and woman &woman to be fruitful and mulitiplied.no your facts sweetie and people KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKIND ABOUT BEFOR YOU TRY TO SAY YOUR SOO HOLY BECAUSE I HATE WITH THEY PUT GODS GOLY OUT THE WRONG WAY now HAVE A BLESSED DAY TO WHOM THIS MAY CONCERN.

      • AnotherGirlDFTBA says

        @semi-metrosexual- I’m in exactly your shoes. I could not have said it better. Not joking. I wish I could quote you for my essay. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t count as a reliable source though, haha :D
        @ mz.you crazy- Here are some facts for you:
        1) It is possible to be lesibian and cristian. I know a PASTOR that is lesbian and she is one of the best pastors I have had.
        2) It is not unholy to be in love with a man or woman- Read the new testiment. God loves everyone. In keeping with the neighbor theme from above, “treat your neigbor as yourself”
        2) There aren’t “Wrong religions” because Christianity is based off of the Jewish religion. Two technically different religions… still right…
        3) God made man and woman to be fruitful and multipy. But the entire world is not LGBT. So if a couple people here or there are, the human race will not die out, they will still be plenty fruitfull and multiply a whole bunch.
        4) semi-metrosexual never said once they were “soooo holy”…. they didn’t even really mention it… other than being a Christian… soooo.. I’m not sure where that came from…
        ***** I’m not trying to sound mean by saying any of this. I am merely stating my opinion.

        • SHOCKnAWE says

          God loves everyone,but homosexuality is sin! Sure you can love someone,but sex with the same sex is wrong whether you agree or not! The act is unnatural and if left unchecked (meaning if we all were gay) the species dies if not for artificial insemination which that is not natural. I am a Christian and my bible says it is wrong. There is sin we all face in one way or another and have to deal with it by obeying Gods word.I know alot of you dont like hearing this,but God knows best so stop scoffing and submit to the Lord and he will raise you up to higher places.Please give it to God.

      • geekypnai13 says

        don’t worry, I think the current generation is handling the whole fruitful part by having children at the age of 15. we’re good. we’re good.

  66. Anonymous says

    The funny but yet sad part of this article/list is that in today’s world there are actually ignorant uneducated people that place a lot of stock in this sarcastic list of why gay marriage is wrong.

    Could It be there own fears or maybe they are just simply that stupid. In any case I feel sorry for them as they live the life that I would never wish to my worst enemy. But there is always hope that they open their eyes and learn to see, listen and learn to hear and speak and learn to talk. Good Luck!

  67. Mikayla says

    okay, so I just have to say, this made my day!!!:D I’m writing a paper supporting gay marriage for my english class, and was googling things for my counterargument. the more I read, the madder and more disgusted I got at the people saying why gay marriage is wrong, and then I found this. So THANK YOU!!!!! haha:D

    • mz.you crazy says

      I CANT BELIVE YOU ETHIER YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE ILL PRAY FOR U TOO BECAUSE YOU JUST A CHILD TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU AGREE WITH GAY MARRIEGE LORD HELP YOUR PEOPLE.

    • AnotherGirlDFTBA says

      @Mikayla- I’m writing a paper on LGBT Rights for MY English class too!!! :D My mom’s best friend all through out High School (They are still good friends though) is openly gay and I’m totally going to send him my paper when I’m done with it. I’m going to include this in my paper too now :D @mz.you crazy- I can believe her just fine and yes, she is something else. She is a perfectly fine, good, and I’m sure wonderful person who knows plenty about her argument. you don’t have to be 50 to understand what LGBT marriage is or how it effects society- which it doesn’t. I don’t see that problem with LGBT marriage- if they’re in love enough to get married, who am I to say they can’t get married? And yes, I agree, humanity does need help. We pollute too much. @Mikayla- Rock on girl :)

  68. Jasmine says

    This is such an awesome list!!
    It very cleverly shows how irrational some people in our world still think. If everyone thought like you we would have a much happier and tolerant society =)

  69. Éibhleann says

    Gold. Showed this to everyone I know, even my Christian and Muslim friends nearly pissed themselves laughing!

    • Carol says

      Good comments so far! I see more than one idea in this pgaasse one more figurative and one more literal. The literal would be easier to see, since any children from a marriage would be the one flesh created from the two parents. Yet, I think it goes deeper than this and the figurative meaning is MORE what is being expressed in this pgaasse. When a man and woman marry they cease to be two people. From that point on, until death, every action impacts the other. No longer will one mourn without the other, nor will the other feel joy without the spouse feeling the joy as well. They are ONE flesh in this aspect. It is more than unity, more than a bonding, and more than just a joining..it is as if they become ONE body in all things. Nothing is unilateral any longer. It is almost best expressed in one spouse becoming the breath of the other.

  70. Jayde says

    Hey SLUSH, I thought this article was funny as, and that some people are done right thick in the bloody head for missing the obvious sarcasm in the article. Reading through the comments I’m struck by the dumbness and rudeness of some people like seriously WTF?? Anyways I loved it :)

  71. Sister Of A Lesbian says

    And yes, just for the record, I did catch the sarcasm. I just chose not to take it into account. Besides, even with it, you’re still a complete idiot.

  72. Sister Of A Lesbian says

    You are an idiot. An absolute and utter idiot. At least half of your point are invalid, some of them are outdated, and I can counter all of them in less than a minute. If I could think of a word strong enough to describe my loathing of this article, trust me, I would use it without hesitation.

  73. Koryn says

    Oh how I miss satire ! I thought I kissed mockery like this good-bye back in 08 after Palin was no longer running for VP! Thank you :D

  74. Hailey says

    So I realize that Kayla’s comment was from a few months ago and I love your rebuke SLUSH but I have to point something out that a lot of people seem to be missing. Kayla’s last statement is one of the most ego-centric things I’ve ever heard and I keep hearing this from all these bible thumpers. “If you disagree with one thing the bible says, you must disagree with all of it” As if my ethos gave 2 sh*ts about your bible and I spend my time reading up on it just to be contrarian. Bible thumpers reading this, for many of us, we aren’t directly opposed to the bible, it simply has 0 bearing on our lives and trying to use it as a yard stick for comparing our 2 moralities is about as effective as stacking bibles on top of each other to measure distance to the moon, it’s pointless and looks silly.

  75. Bren says

    YES. Well I’m gay. We can’t be selfish anyway.. Some people are born gay, that can’t be changed. But if we made gay marriage legal that would lead some ‘brainwash’ to others which should be normal. I totally agree with you :D

  76. Mr. Norris says

    Not all people that dislike gay marriage are close minded homophobes. It’s people like you that generalize people into categories that are very much inaccurate. Also, better to be a closed minded homophobe than a dumb broad talking about something she doesn’t know (A.K.A. Olivia Brandle)!

  77. Anon says

    I think that when you say Eleni, down in the comments, that we support/accept 14, 15 ,16 year olds getting pregnant and that makes Gay Marriage OK, than you are wrong: We don’t support teens getting pregnant. We just try to help them get through that mistake and learn what they did wrong and see how that will affect their life in future.

  78. Cassidy-lee says

    America is disgusting, this is terrible and so not true, i’m a 15 year old girl in New Zealand and this absolutely disgusts me, Same-sex marriage is just like any other, it doesn’t change anything, and these points don’t even make sense, I have been raised by a single parent for almost 5 years now and if you ask anybody i’m sure i’m pretty normal, it is natural it’s two human beings..you can’t get any more natiral than that, if other people are going to be gay so be it, that’s their decision not for you to judge, how will it be less meaningful? that doesn’t even make sense, that whole thing about orphanages is revolting how dare you say that i’ve never heard of something so rude and obnoxious, many straight parents raise gay kids and many gay parents raise straight kids, it’s the childs choice in the end not the parents, change the foundation in society..? umm what that doesn’t even make sense, society is f****d now and always will be, gay couples mean nothing compared to half the shit society is dealing with at the moment. I believe that gay marriage should be legal because if someone truly loves someone else they should have the right to spend the rest of their lives together and have the right to marry ~rage over.~

    • says

      thanks for your support cassidy-lee! don’t worry… this entire post was a satire. we actually support gay rights (we’re a bunch of lesbians).

      • you're right , says

        Congratulation . Longer your happy and don’t put the label on your forehead who you’re … that’s your choice . It’s your life .

    • Rezky says

      , but also add these comments:We are made in God’s image. Jesus said, I and the Father are one. Now the Father didn’t exaltcy inhabit the same flesh, but yet they were (are) one. I think that is significant in looking at this verse.I think it also shows why divorce is such a traumatic event. The two have become one therefore tearing the two apart again is violent and heartbreaking. I think you discussed that somewhat in a post or two back.

  79. says

    The 1st reason is i’m like wtf how?
    2nd reason ehhh i guess
    3rd reason eather ur stupid or it COULD be true
    10th reason we already have to many people in are world even china sending all the 1st born daughter to the USA because china has so many people.
    Anyway this feels like when black people were slaves.
    F you this world is fuking lame and USA says this country free.

  80. Mooshii says

    It’s not just about the label. It’s more about equal rights, we want the right to be bedside our dying spouse&make that lat decision to pull the plug, legal rights etc and anything else that comes with being married and/or divorced. Personally, as being part of the “other side”, i’ll never get married its my own choice, unless my life partner would like to, otherwise personally; marriage is a joke, all the heterosexuals take advantage of it remarried around 5 times. So, what’s the point. Bible aside unless you’re part of the Amish community who sincerely follows their bible word for word. I’m doubtful all you bible thumpers out there follow the bible word for word in your daily life, you pick and choose.

    • Kaykay says

      You sound like resonable person and i could use an honest perspective on this, its usually both sides screaming up the worst insults they can think up and not thinking clearly can you tell me why

  81. S says

    If gays would like to have a partnership with all the rights – benefits as married couples fine. Adopt children, fine. They would be as great and some greater than some married couples at raising children. But the term “married” Only refers to a married couple of a man and woman. You may call a gay partnership “married” but in the eyes of God it is NOT a true marriage no matter what you believe. It is not a matter of being homophobic, small minded, ect. I don’t know what the big deal is about having gays needing demanding that their partnersip be labled “married”. I guess you can think it, whatever but that won’t change the “TRUE MEANING OF MARRIAGE”. No matter what. I think all the gays I have ever met are really terrific people. I have a family member who is gay and I love her very much!

    • Brenda says

      “Marriage” is a contract between two people for business or because they love each other. Marriage, by the state at least, does not have to be under God, much less blessed by God (separation of church and state, remember?). Unlike you and millions of others, this contract is meaningful to some LGBTs just as it is to some straight people. All individuals of the US society have a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness right? Having the human ABILITY to get married is a liberty given to all members of the US. How are gays and lesbians able to have the LIBERTY to pursue marriage ( if that’s what causes them happiness of course) if it is banned? You are denying human rights in a sense by denying PEOPLE the right to marry. Marriage by the state should not interfere with any religious views or metaphysical beliefs of anyone, so you should not have to worry about it. If your religion does not accept gay/lesbian marriage I am not one to say that it should. That would violate your rights to religious freedom or your idea of what TRUE MARRIAGE constitutes. In other words, just because gay marriage is accepted by the government, since it would violate LGBTQ rights not to, it doesn’t mean you should in your religion (It doesn’t force you to enshrine this law into your religion); due to the separation of church and state. Just so you know there are books that line out the capabilities that individuals should have within an istitution. I recommend reading Martha Nussbaum’s version of John Rawls’s view of an “overlapping consensus”. Nussbaum also makes some excellent points in her book “Creating Capabilities”. Remember, we are a democratic nation.
      Just for the record, I am a Catholic, straight female. My religion does not accept gay marriage, but it accepts the sanctity of human dignity which is what I follow. Having human dignity is having the ABILITY to make YOUR choices of what YOU believe is best for YOURSELF; assuming you have the sanity to do so, without having to worry about your SES, race, sexuality, color, religion, education, or anything else that a society’s norms might disintegrate.

  82. Loren says

    this gay marriage stuff always reminds me how much I love being Canadian and what a real non-issue the whole marriage thing is…live and let live.

    rooting for triumph over ignorance and fear and religious intolerance…

    and the realization that allowing gay marriage will not cause the time/space continuum to disintegrate!

    xoxo

    • AnotherGirlDFTBA says

      That is beautiful. You MUST be a Doctor Who fan. If not, go watch it It’s on BBC. And Its amazing.

  83. Charlotte says

    Haha. This is perfect :3. I also love all the people in the comments that didn’t get the joke… It’s a lesbian blog, sillies. :P

  84. Becki says

    I love it! I just wish the closed minded folks would read this kind of stuff if for no other reason than to see how stupid it really is to fight this or be against it. Thanks so much.

      • Mega says

        Linda Newsted wrote,Marriage creates a new bond that cotsisns of a entirely new unit seperate and apart from the child/parent to husband/wife. This new unit is to act as one when we travel this life, have children, and especially in our spiritual life.***********Jim Newsted wrote,I agree with my wife, Linda, and Kandi. However, I will add to their comments that when the Bible uses the English word e2€œfleshe2€9d in the O.T. it usally is used to mean all of mankind, or man. e2€œOne-fleshe2€9d therefore would be the bonding of two into one. One in mind, spirit and body. What Jeff and Dawn wrote are thus valid points. Ite2€™s like glueing to pieces of wood together. They once were two separate pieces, but now are one. This does not change their individual character or chacteristics, but are complimented into one. Those of of you that have laminated beams in your church buildings will note what I am trying to protray here. Another thought is what happens when one or both pieces are dirty? The bonding does not adhere, comes apart, loosens and may fall apart. What can cause this is why marriages fall apart. Ie2€™ll leave my comments as is and let the reader or the preacher provide those answers.***********It sounds like you two have a good understanding of marriage! Thank you for your thoughts!

  85. Kayla says

    Okay. I’m a christian and I serve a true living all powerful GOD. God is against homosexuality because that’s not what he intended for, if you read the Bible you will see that when it talks about Sodum and Gomora it refers to homosexuality as an abomination. God made woman for man not man for man and woman for woman, because a man and a woman can make babies and that’s not possible for 2 men or 2 women to do. I personally do not agree with anything that has been said in any reason (yes I am aware of the sarcasm) but still homosexuality ain’t right. No matter how you look at it. Yes the Bible says it is wrong, but a lot of people agree with it so to me if you are pro-homosexuality even though it is wrong then you should be pro-abortation, pro-murder, you must be for lieing, stealing, and cheating because the Bible says that is wrong also

    • SLUSH says

      Good point, so as a christian who follows everything the bible says, you probably also don’t:

      shave (leviticus 19:27)
      say bad words (ephesians 5:4)
      gossip (leviticus 19:16)
      eat lobster (leviticus 11:10)
      eat pork (leviticus 11:7)
      wear cotton/polyester blends (leviticus 19:19)
      or associate with other women who are on their periods (leviticus 15:19-20)

      I’m glad you don’t pick and choose what to follow in the bible :)

    • jw says

      just love it how you think its ok to chose which part of the bible to follow. how can gays go to hell when there is no hell, yeah says it in th e bible

    • Brenda says

      Good for you that you believe that. And thank God that you can keep to yourself within the boundaries of your religion. Every one else in society has the freedom to not believe what Christianity holds in their bible. We have the right to say gay marriage is right, just like you have the right to say it’s wrong. LGBT by the state should be able to marry, it shouldn’t interfere with your religious beliefs since separation of church and state happened long ago because of differing metaphysical beliefs of a democratic nation. Today there are still different beliefs of what constitutes marriage, but keep it to yourself and to the people that believe that along with you. Every individual Human is granted core entitlements to which everyone should respect. You don’t screw with the state, the state won’t screw with you. Gay marriage should be allowed in the state, not in your religion if you don’t want it that way since that would only screw with your religious freedom. (Thank the government for the separation of church and state). You’re welcome.

    • Hayley's Decoy says

      You know I’ve grown up as a Christian, but I think that if you say you are a Christian then maybe you should act it. I once had a youth pastor say that just because some one’s gay, you don’t hate them. We are all are sinner’s, that’s in the bible too. Do you hate some one when they lie? It’s the same, a sin is a sin there is not big or small and don’t fool yourself into thinking that being gay is a choice, can’t help who you love.

    • Anonymous says

      You would also stone your child to death for being disobedient, yet thou shalt not kill…. I fail to see the logic there

    • I am a chicken says

      To Brenda: Here, have a story from the Hebrew Bible:

      “The story of Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis does not explicitly identify homosexuality as the sin for which Sodom was destroyed, but the passage has historically been interpreted within Judaism and Christianity as a punishment for homosexuality due to the statement that the men of Sodom wished to rape the angels sent to retrieve.”

    • AnotherGirlDFTBA says

      I’m sorry.. Im a Christian… and Somehow.. I found that comment by Kayla HALLARIOUS- probably because I disagree with most of that…. anyways I’m writing a paper on it and for my counter argument I have “It was Adam and Eve not Adam and Steeve” Which I think is THE. FUNNIEST. THING. LIKE EVER. But to which Kayla will probably agree to.

  86. Anonymous says

    7 is wrong if I might add just because the parents are gay does not mean the kids will be heterosexual families have a gay kids to you dont’t just turn into an LGBT you are born unto it.

  87. amine says

    Thanks for sharing this, dieals. Totally agree with you on this:It is worth remembering that these people are not illogical, they’re just operating off premises that we do not accept (and vice versa).I think part of the problem with the same-sex marriage debate in Australia is that both sides of the argument (well, both sides of the argument that are given airtime obviously there is room for additional points of view) are communicated mostly in terms of their conclusions. Ie, This is about equality vs Marriage is between a man and a woman . There’s not really much room for dialogue between those points of view: if you strongly believe one or the other, it seems self-evident, and the opposing view seems foreign and non-sensical. I’m not going to argue that having a dialogue is going to change the minds of professional bigots (as some commenters on Feministe put it), but I do think we need to understand the logic of those who disagree with us if we want to change the status quo.

    • Irma says

      Dan sure has a strong stomcah and a high tolerance for fools, I could never do what he does, I’d carry a large cluebat AND use the darn thing frequently!Maybe he should interview the POTUS and apply a cluebat.a0 But then, Obambi changes his mind based on which way the wind blows and his chances for re-election.a0 Kinda like Mittens Romneycare. KnowwhutImean?

  88. Eleni says

    Love it! If people can accept 14, 15 and 16 year olds getting pregnant but unconditional love is a no no. It just shows how f@ck up the world is…. I rather my child say I’m gay, then I’m pregnant at 15!!

    • AnotherGirlDFTBA says

      Actually… Can I quote you in an article I am writing? I will need to take out the swear word but thats whatever. I’ll just write: One mom says, “If people can accept 14, 15, and 16 year olds getting pregnant but unconditional love [and same sex marriage is not okay], It just shows hot [messed up] the world is… I rather my child say I’m gay, then say I’m pregnant at 15!!”
      I wont use a name or anything. I would actually really appreciate it.!

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